Can you give love a second chance?

Do you believe in giving love a second chance? I often wonder if all that stuff about things not being in the right time are true or not.

Is it possible for love to be put on hold, and pick it back up a couple of years later?

Is it possible to meet someone earlier than you're meant to?

There are always so many questions around failed relationships, you always find yourself thinking, 'what if...'

The saying 'An ex is an ex for a reason' is always said with such negativity, but should that always be the case? Just because someone is an ex, doesn't mean you can't pick up and relationship and start again with them, and be happy. Surely there are loads of couples out there who have broken up, spent time apart, maybe even seen other people in-between and then gotten back together.

Not every relationship ends over bad events, sure there is hurt, anger etc from atleast one side during most breakups, but that doesn't mean there was anything shady going on. Sometimes relationships just aren't right or working for a certain reason.

But people are always afraid of getting hurt again. Just because someone got hurt once, doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get hurt again... does it? Surely if it hurt that much, it's obviously something that is worth all of it, otherwise, why would it hurt so much?

Every relationship is different, and no one can tell you what to do. No matter how much they try. I've known a lot of situations that have included very cautious and protective friends, and it doesn't help. If anything, if you get in the way of two people who want to be together, being together. You're only going to cause more hurt.

Sometimes asking 'what if' isn't enough.

And sometimes even a past relationship that's failed once before, is worth giving that second chance. The more it hurt, the more genuine your love was for them, no matter how long it takes you to realise.

The first month.

So in a few days, I'll have been on the dating site for a month now, and so far, I'm really enjoying it. I've managed to meet some awesome people and make some new friends! (Which, considering I know no one in Chester, It definitely became a bit of a sanity saver!)

I love that the site is free to use, though for some extra's you have to pay. Such as, being able to browse on people's profiles invisibly. The site tells you when someone views your profile and who it is, which I hate. Because now whenever someone views my profile and doesn't message me, I'm like 'Hey! What's wrong with me?!' ;) Haha, I'm joking but for people who get a lot of views and very little messages, it could be a bit disheartening! I feel bad viewing someones profile, especially someone's who has messaged me and not messaging back... I've found myself messaging them back so I don't feel guilty!
Because, if you message someone, they view your profile and don't message you back, you know you've just been full blown rejected... at least if you don't see them viewing your profile, you can at least pretend they've just come online and read your message.... 3 weeks... 4 weeks later!

This one is a flaw in me rather than the site, but for the first few days when it was all awesome and exciting and I was finally socialising with people in the outside world, I was replying to all my messages and checking up on all my notifications. But I do this thing that I do with all these kind of sites, I get tired of my phone blowing up with notifications and having the same, small talk conversations of 'hi, how are you?' and then going into what you're doing with yourself nowadays. I got a bit sick of telling my life story over and over again. So I kept saying to myself that I'll check them later... before I knew it, it was a week later. Rubbish Rebbie! From my previous research into similar sites, I do know that new profiles do get put on display to other users more, so they get more messages and therefore continue using the site, which is a great method... But I, personally get a little bored with constant notifications and I do have a habit of neglecting my account. :(.

The thing I love most about the site, is definitely the people on it. I love reading the profiles of other users and seeing little quirks in their personality, and the messages that I've received where people have noticed things on my profile.
Two of the most popular point on my profile have to be these;

My love for dominoes is unreal, you get me a chicken pizza with a BBQ stuffed crust, I will be yours for life.

So many people laughed at me for this, and so many people actually remembered the advert, but I didn't know what it was. But after about 3 weeks of searching.... I found it!

Mushy Pea Advert << You tell me that isn't emotionally destroying. I just can't eat pea's anymore...

I'm still looking for the fork advert though!

I'm sorry there isn't much juicy gossip to spill during my first month. I'm saving the juicy-ness for my next post!
Oh and if you find the advert, link it to me via, Email, Facebook, or Twitter

Rebbie's dating site adventure...the first night.

Ok, so the curiosity got the better of me, and I signed up to a dating site... This post is pretty much going to be a running commentary of my thoughts while signing up... :)

The personality of OkCupid is amazing... The username Rebbie was taken... but look at their suggestions!

I almost went with 'Rebbie-o-matic' the sex machine, but... Ok, I totally regret with going for Rebbieinabox now. Rebbieasaurus would of been a good one, but I thought it was a little too scene kid...

But moving on to some of my details... I forget quite often I was born under the unfortunately named star sign... 

I decided to leave the second half of that question blank....

You have to be pretty kinky to answer with 'not possible' right? I couldn't imagine someone just sitting there like, yup, Noone can out-kink me! haha. You must have a filthy mind...

But to me, these questions are just getting better.....

'Depends on which race...' I can just imagine someone leant back in their computer chair, going through all the different types of race, checklisting in their head... I'm not sure if you guys are finding this as funny as I am...
So I thought it was time to check out some of the matches OkCupid found for me...
Putting my orientation as Bi-sexual, it came up with a couple of girls, and I found this little gem on a local girls profile...

She could of said ANYTHING else in the world, literally ANYTHING. is it just me, or is that the kind of thing people should be putting on their profiles... I suppose it is a dating site... you should get to know these things about a person...

Anyway, after 3 hours of trying to fix my profile etc. I'm tired... and seen as it's nearly 4am. I suppose I should get to sleep. But I want to hear your stories/experiences of dating websites, or even just share your opinion.

Join the discussion on Facebook, or Twitter or feel free to email me here :)
And we shall see in the morning, what lies in store for me online...

Webcam performers and our relationships

It's been a while since I've posted one of my sex related blogs, and I've had a few messages requesting for their return... (you massive perverts! haha.)

So my topic today is all about webcam performers, and whether we should kick up a fuss over finding our partners viewing their material...

As with everything at the end of the day, it all comes down to a matter of opinion, and the truth is, a lot of women think that webcam performers are 'sluts' and 'cheap'. Where with guys, it's a middle split, a lot more males feel slightly more positive towards the idea of webcam performers, especially female and couple performers! ....This is probably because they're the main audience for these type of shows! Though society today is becoming a lot more open when it comes to sex and sexuality. So... Should we accept webcam performers, or not?

I've had this conversation with many people, both males and females and I get asked whether it's acceptable to watch webcam performers/go to strip clubs etc, when they're in a relationship and their partner's at home.

A lot of people make the mistake of putting webcam performers in the same league as other sex workers, such as escorts and prostitutes, as in thinking they're just as morally wrong. This is not the case in the slightest, obviously for the main reason of, there's an actual physical experience between someone and a escort/prostitute, and it's actually classed as cheating! =p.

If you caught your partner watching a webcam performer, would you be annoyed? Is there a reason to be annoyed?
I've been asked this question a lot, at the end of the day, it does come down to whether it upsets you or not. Personally, I may be a little wounded by it, but at the end of the day, it's just a fantasy. If your partner is sat at the computer wanking over some randomer on the internet, who he doesn't have a relationship with outside of that, are they really doing anything wrong? It's just like them masturbating over a celebrity....

Obviously except for the fact our partner's are paying for them....

A lot of the girls do it for an income, that isn't to say they don't enjoy it... who doesn't enjoy masturbating! But that girl isn't going to be in love with my partner, that girl isn't going to take my partner away from me. All she's going to get from my partner, is a few quid over a wank on webcam... None of us like to think of our partners getting off sexually over other people. But at the end of the day, they're sat at home jacking off, not cheating on you and sticking it in a prostitute...

In my opinion, what's wrong with a little fantasy? But everyone is different, some people would be upset by it, and one thing about being in a relationship is that you have to know each others limits, what lines you can cross etc, like you do with things like banter. It's the same with things like this, if you know your partner would be upset if they found you in that situation, then you should probably steer away from that situation out of respect for your partner.
If you're unsure about the situation, and are curious to your partners opinion, you can bring up the topic without giving the game away. Talk about a stag/hen party-->>Strippers -->> other forms of sexual entertainment, or if you're online, mention a pop up about webcamming, (there's bloody enough of them!).

Or, to avoid all the hassle, hide in your cave and fap to your hearts content... =P

As always feel free to email me with any questions, comments, or advice, here: RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

A little update on me.

I get asked a lot to do a blog every now and again about myself and to update people on what's going on in my life, with finishing University, I've not had a lot of time to put into my blogs and my posts. I know I keep saying I'll have time to dedicate to my blog, but this time, I actually really will. I'll make sure my new housemates will stop me from slacking!!

So.. I'm graduating university with a 2:2, which I'm pretty proud of, I could of done better, but... University life distracted me... ;) haha. I celebrated my 21st birthday on Thursday (June 27th). I went to New York with my Mum for the week and we had an amazing time. Look at this view, who wouldn't want to stand on the top of New York on their birthday? =D

The last few months have been a massive change for me, leaving the lovely town of Aberystwyth, and my amazing housemates, in our big party house! I love you all very dearly and I wish you guys all the best, and I will come and see you all regularly, I promise!! I'm moving towns, back to England! With my best friend of 9 years Kim, her boyfriend and my friend Joe! I'll let you know how I settle in when I go next week!
I'm shitting myself for graduation, I have no idea why, I don't like the idea of getting up on a stage (Yes, my degree was in Drama and Theatre haha). I'd just rather have it sent to me in the post, but mother wants to see me graduate, so I suppose I have to go! haha.

The question pretty much everyone has asked me, and it's the juicy one. My love life....

What love life? Haha. There is absolutely no male interest in my life right now, fuck boys, my job is listening to people bitching about their relationships, and you guys have put me off =P haha. I'm only teasing! I'm just really happy with my life, and exploring new things, trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life. I'm not actively looking for anyone, but you know, the flow can be good, so I'm just going with it.
A lot of you ask me, what kind of guys I go for, I've collected the questions, so I'm going to answer! :).

Question time!

Looks or personality?

To an extent, both. But I'm definitely more of a personality type of girl, (just look at some of my ex boyfriends, and you'll understand why!) Haha, but it's always a personality that hooks me.

Do you like guys with big muscles?

NOOOO! haha. A little bit of muscle is fine, actually, a little more than fine, but nothing is more unattractive to me than someone who's more muscle than anything else. It just doesn't work for me. The guys I think look best? The ones that have a little bit of muscle but have a squish! It makes it all the better to cuddle with.

Would you rather sit and eat junk or go out for run?

Come on guys! I'm 5'3" and a size UK 12/14, I love the food. I'm not the type of girl who checks her weight, eats nothing but salad and works out. I love a cosy night in, with a Domino's pizza. I have a nice big butt that's firm and made of pizza.

What's the most important trait to you in a partner?

Definitely a sense of humour, and a love for banter. I'm not overly harsh with my banter, but I couldn't have a relationship with someone who couldn't take it. It's my way of saying, 'Hey man, I kinda like you!'

What's the most important thing you look for in life?

Happiness. I don't really ask for anything more than to be happy. I don't need lots of money, and I am pretty ambitious, but having a successful career isn't the most important thing to me. All I want is to have my friends and loved ones around me, and just live life. As long as I can get by, and everyone around me is happy and safe. What more could you ask for?

Would you like to get married and have kids?

Both of them, the same answer, definitely. I love the idea of marriage and what it represents. I'm not looking to get married any time soon or to start popping out kids, but a while down the line, to be able to have that, I think would be really amazing. I am a very people orientated person, I cherish every single person in my life, I always have done, even if I don't always show it.

You seem like a girl who can get a little feisty.. are you?

Depends who you are and what you've done haha. I am a really passionate person so the feist is in there! I can be the most loving and caring, calm person you'll meet, but my tongue can get a little sharp if you've pissed me off. haha.

What kind of girlfriend are you like?

I think most people change with every relationship, we learn a lot of our flaws from relationships, and we pick up other peoples, and what not to do. Like most teenagers, when you like someone it's really intense, and you act like a loon. I know I did. But now, I'm actually on the whole, a really relaxed person in relationships. But like all girls, we get an insecure moment every now and again, I always keep mine to myself, but it still stresses me out here and there!

Do you have your eye on anyone now?

Nope, the odd celebrity crush, and the odd friend who I think is actually pretty good looking, but nothing further than that! :)

Keep sending in your questions guys! Or if you have any post suggestions, or advice questions.
RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com
Get in touch on Facebook, or Twitter (@Rebbie_Shane)

We are awesome, but yet really crazy people!

'I'm awesome at giving people relationship advice, but I suck at my own relationships...' 

This is something I've seen a lot on my Facebook recently, and we all know it's different to tackle a situation when it's yours to tackle. Especially when it comes down to relationships and friendships, we're so emotionally involved in the situation we make desperate attempts to try and fix them, and a lot of them are usually little things that we've just over thought.

I'm doing it at the moment. I'm moving away from Aberystwyth a week today, and I'm texting all my friends and getting frustrated with them because most of them aren't getting back to me about making plans with them. And I'm starting to feel like a bit of a crazy person. They'll only complain if I don't have time to meet them later on in the week ;). It's a bit mental isn't it, how we can suddenly switch into crazy people and start acting stupid. We feel quite embarrassed afterwards, but at the end of the day, we're only doing it because we care. If we didn't care, our relationships with friends etc, would never work out.

As much as we need to learn not to let ourselves get so worked up by these little things and act in that crazy way, I know a lot of people on that receiving end do sometimes need reminding that when someone has a crazy moment, it's not because they are crazy, they're just feeling a little insecure.

I wouldn't give a shit usually if my friends weren't making plans with me, but it's not as if I'll still be here next week! =p. Total hint there guys!

Young relationships are the worst for this, with hormones flying everywhere, it's so easy for us when we're younger to get worked up, and get over emotional about things. A lot of us, I know look back at our 14/15 year old selves and think, 'How fucking stupid were we?!'  It's perfectly normal. But we learn from all these mistakes, and as we get older, we tend to calm down... if only a little! But helping out a friend in their situation is a lot easier than helping yourself out of a situation.

If you take my example from earlier, I know a lot of us get a little too worked up by a lack of communication, and what do we say to friends that are moaning about someone not calling/texting them back...? 'It's ok, they'll get back to you when they can.' It's so fucking easy when you're not the one waiting to hear from them, where as what's going through your mind when it's you in that situation...?

Stupid things like, 'Oh, but what if they don't text, and I don't text, and.. there's nothing...' oh, and the best female line of; cue moaning voice; 'What if he's going offff meeeee?' Too many people I know talk like that, and it's the most stupid and the most annoying thing in the world.

Want to hear the one I've been saying the past couple of days??

'But if I don't see them, I might never see them again.' I'm saying, Fuck off Rebbie, you're a nobhead. (Yes, to myself). 

The best thing to do when you're feeling insecure and panicky is to distract yourself, grab your friend that pulls you back down to earth and go out and do something. The worst thing you can do is sit alone and think about it... (I've just realised I'm sat alone, on my bed, writing this blogpost... awkward!). Because you'll just over think and think it's a bigger deal than it actually is :).

Should you listen to reputations?

Everyone has a reputation of some kind, good or bad. But do we judge people too quickly from what we hear from other people? 

Just because someone claims someone is a certain thing, doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Reputations aren't always accurate. I've known plenty of people whose reputation gets carved over one person's lie, that's spread around the town. Though more often than not, there are some truths behind a reputation. As the saying goes, there's no smoke without fire.

People's relationships can be heavily affected by a reputation, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, as someone's reputation could doubt someone into thinking whether or not they can trust the other person. To be honest, pretty much the only real way you have to find out, is by your own personal experience, or you've seen first hand the behaviour that's sparked it all off. If you don't personally know, you don't have a right to judge, though it doesn't mean you can't take what you've heard into account and be cautious. But to judge someone you don't know completely on hear'say is never fair.

They say there's no smoke without fire, and quite often someone's reputation has some kind of truth behind it, but does that define them as a person?
For example, one of the most common reputations that tends to stir trouble is when people are known to have slept around/be a slag. Where it's true that some people live up to that reputation, it's not the case for everyone, some people have gone through a small phase where they have slept with multiple people in a short space of time, but it was nothing more than a phase, and it's now past. Though the label has stuck with them. Doesn't mean they still sleep around though. Everyone has a past, and everyone's done shitty things that unfortunately people don't forget about.
With me, people haven't forgotten the fact I've cheated in relationships, yet that doesn't mean for a second that I'd do it again, and it doesn't mean that I can't be trusted in a relationship with someone else.

I get a lot of advice emails asking whether they should pursue something with someone who has a reputation, and I always say the same thing. Be a little cautious, and don't be afraid to ask about it if it's playing on your mind. It might not always be the most comfortable conversation. But if the other person is honest, and genuinely respects you as a person, they'll give their side, and it's up to you what you believe.

We tend to judge too easily, and put our defenses up too quickly, and to be honest we have good reason to, the last thing we ever want to do is get hurt. But what exactly do you achieve by not giving anyone/anything a chance? Life is full of taking risks, and especially when it comes to the people in our lives. If something has the chance to be awesome, then take it.