We are awesome, but yet really crazy people!

'I'm awesome at giving people relationship advice, but I suck at my own relationships...' 

This is something I've seen a lot on my Facebook recently, and we all know it's different to tackle a situation when it's yours to tackle. Especially when it comes down to relationships and friendships, we're so emotionally involved in the situation we make desperate attempts to try and fix them, and a lot of them are usually little things that we've just over thought.

I'm doing it at the moment. I'm moving away from Aberystwyth a week today, and I'm texting all my friends and getting frustrated with them because most of them aren't getting back to me about making plans with them. And I'm starting to feel like a bit of a crazy person. They'll only complain if I don't have time to meet them later on in the week ;). It's a bit mental isn't it, how we can suddenly switch into crazy people and start acting stupid. We feel quite embarrassed afterwards, but at the end of the day, we're only doing it because we care. If we didn't care, our relationships with friends etc, would never work out.

As much as we need to learn not to let ourselves get so worked up by these little things and act in that crazy way, I know a lot of people on that receiving end do sometimes need reminding that when someone has a crazy moment, it's not because they are crazy, they're just feeling a little insecure.

I wouldn't give a shit usually if my friends weren't making plans with me, but it's not as if I'll still be here next week! =p. Total hint there guys!

Young relationships are the worst for this, with hormones flying everywhere, it's so easy for us when we're younger to get worked up, and get over emotional about things. A lot of us, I know look back at our 14/15 year old selves and think, 'How fucking stupid were we?!'  It's perfectly normal. But we learn from all these mistakes, and as we get older, we tend to calm down... if only a little! But helping out a friend in their situation is a lot easier than helping yourself out of a situation.

If you take my example from earlier, I know a lot of us get a little too worked up by a lack of communication, and what do we say to friends that are moaning about someone not calling/texting them back...? 'It's ok, they'll get back to you when they can.' It's so fucking easy when you're not the one waiting to hear from them, where as what's going through your mind when it's you in that situation...?

Stupid things like, 'Oh, but what if they don't text, and I don't text, and.. there's nothing...' oh, and the best female line of; cue moaning voice; 'What if he's going offff meeeee?' Too many people I know talk like that, and it's the most stupid and the most annoying thing in the world.

Want to hear the one I've been saying the past couple of days??

'But if I don't see them, I might never see them again.' I'm saying, Fuck off Rebbie, you're a nobhead. (Yes, to myself). 

The best thing to do when you're feeling insecure and panicky is to distract yourself, grab your friend that pulls you back down to earth and go out and do something. The worst thing you can do is sit alone and think about it... (I've just realised I'm sat alone, on my bed, writing this blogpost... awkward!). Because you'll just over think and think it's a bigger deal than it actually is :).

Being confident with identity.

I just read a blog post of a friend I used to be extremely close to before I came to Uni, (http://amy-dale.blogspot.com/) And one of her blog posts (Here goes nothing) talks about her identity as a person and how she see's herself.
Through-out life we all pick up different Labels/titles/identities such as Mother, Father, Boss, Employee, Wife, Husband etc, and they're all pretty standard yes? But sometimes we pick up more unique things within our identity which sometimes people find hard to accept. For example my friend Amy talks about how she feels there is a boy trapped within her body and that he is a part of her, and I really admire her courage to be able to tell people this part of her which is obviously very important to her identity, especially when it's something that not everyone finds themselves able to accept in a person. I'm not saying you should go and write a blog about all the unique things about you, but what I'm trying to say is that even though not everyone may be able to accept certain things about you. If they are things that are a part of you, mean a lot to you and make you happy, you shouldn't shy away from it.
A lot of people get depressed over hiding various parts of themselves and their lives because of what people may think about them, or that they've convinced themselves the people in their lives will leave and strangers will look at them in the street and say a load of crap. Sometimes unfortunately these things do happen, not everyone can accept things, or agree with how you feel etc. But if you're acting ashamed of yourself or a part of your life, you won't be happy. You have to embrace every part of you and be like 'This is me.'

As I said to my friend Amy, I wouldn't look her in any other way than the way I already see her. I see her as a great friend, someone I share many memories with etc. She's a lovely person, and someone that always has me in stitches about 90% of the time i'm with her (The other 10% I'm recovering from laughing at all the stupid things we do and say together!)

A lot of people may not feel the same as you, agree with you, or even accept it, but pretty much nearly everyone who cares about you will respect you and that whatever it is is a part of your life and a part of you!

My facebook and twitter is now linked at the side... if you hover over some random rectangle things on your right! :)
Or Email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com

And don't forget to check out my friend Amy's blog! She's an awesome girl! :)

What counts as cheating?

Everyone has a different view on what they see as cheating in a relationship. For example some people see kissing another person of the opposite sex cheating, and some don't. Others count emotional relationships and so on.
But is cheating really? The definition is 'An immoral way of achieving a goal.' so if you're unhappy emotionally, or the sex in the relationship has gone downhill/become non existent. Finding that with someone else is an immoral way of going about it, because you're breaking the trust.

Everyone has a different boundary of what counts as cheating in their book, so what's yours?

I personally feel it has a big thing to do with how secure you feel in your relationship, if you feel comfortable knowing that your partner does adore you like they should, then you feel a lot more at ease, a lot less paranoid, and if you did find him kissing a friend as a joke, you wouldn't be too miffed about it.
However if you are a little more insecure, a little bit more possessive, those kind of things can bother you a lot more. I've found that it's this factor of security which varies peoples opinions.

I myself have been in relationships where I've laughed while my boyfriends been kissing someone else, and I've been in relationships where the same situation has infuriated me!

Obviously if you go further than kissing it is a pretty much universal view that it is cheating, it's mainly kissing where peoples opinions vary.

Emotional Relationships
As many people know, you don't physically have to participate in anything sexual to be 'cheating' on your relationship. We get close to people that we begin to like more, and those people begin to fill a hole your life. If you're not completely happy, we have someone that we are attracted to and love on some level and they make us feel that happy again, and the same for them to you. But is that cheating?

I don't personally feel like it is cheating, but if you're thinking about how you'd rather be in a relationship with them rather than the person you are in a relationship with, something is seriously wrong, and you have to decide whether your relationship is worth trying to save, or that you need to leave. I do feel like it is a form of betrayal, and it will cause hurt even though there is no sex involved.

What are your opinions? Leave a comment below, follow on facebook or twitter (Links above)
Or email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com