So many messages from people asking why I hadn't updated any of you on what was going on in my OkCupid world... That's because nothing much had really been happening... except what I'm about to talk about towards the end...
I did the thing I knew I would do, and that is, struggle to find the time to answer to everyone's messages.. (I started to feel bad when I didn't reply)...
So I started slacking...
The annoying thing with OkCupid is that the site tells people on your profile how often you reply to your messages... so I'm one of these people now who reply 'Selectively' or even 'Very selectively' and if I'm honest, that makes me feel like a bitch. haha. If I could reply to all the messages all the time, I would. I love talking to people, however unfortunately.... I cant!! :(.
I was sat with my housemate, (Also on OkCupid... in fact, all 3 of my housemates are on there!) and on the quickmatch (Where rate randomly generated profiles) I got all 3 of them on my quick match within a few minutes! It was interesting to see their profiles, especially seen as two of them are together.
Although now, I have registered as an 'A-list' member, which means I get a few extra special magic powers on the site, such as, I can browse peoples profiles without them knowing I did... Finally, that was the one thing about the site that I hated...
And I can finally see, who said they liked me.... so if I find someone on that list that I find interesting... I already know they kinda atleast think the same about me. So yay!.
However there was one guy I was talking to, seemed normal, looked normal, weirdly looked very much like someone I had a fling with once... and I'm not saying he wasn't normal, he was. He just totally didn't look like the type of guy who would be into the stuff he was... He just looked like your average kid, very generic, (my old friend who he looked like was an absolute pussy, so I kinda assumed he would be a little softy too) so we were talking for a fair few weeks... he found my blog and asked my opinion on certain things like escorting etc... then obviously, escorting moved on to sexual desire and then he told me he was into really hardcore domination, and I froze. I'm not someone who likes to talk about their sexual desires, especially over the internet with someone I don't know... So I had spent the whole conversation being like 'erm.. I don't know, you?' Then he just threw me out of the water with this one. I was like daaaamn boy!
It kinda reminded me, not to judge a book by it's cover... everyone has their little kinks, and some people's can be VERY surprising!
One tip for those of you on dating websites etc. This may be a very obvious thing to watch out for, but if someone is straight away saying that 'oh your photo makes me want to do naughty things' 3 guesses what they're all about. I had someone do this to me yesterday. Though his username was something along the lines of 'thepartyanimal' so you really can't be surprised. And the same applies if they ask for your number straight away.
Why would I give my number to some stranger on the internet? That has only sent me 2 messages? Stay safe on the internet kids ! :)
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Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Saturday, 5 October 2013
Do we need to have it all to be happy?
What does it take to make a person happy? Are we ever truly happy? One thing I have learnt over the past couple of years is that, there isn't one sole thing that can make any of us happy.
Money can't buy you happiness
A career doesn't give you emotional support
And love doesn't make you feel like you've accomplished anything.
If one of those three things are missing, we become unhappy. We either; Feel alone without love, Feel like we're wasting our lives or we're stressed and angry because we can't pay the bills. To be truly happy do we need to have it all?
A year ago I made the decision to end a relationship because drama connected to home and people around my partner were affecting my grades at university. (If my mum's reading this, she'll be well proud I picked uni over a boy!) But I often think about him, as well as an old friend who made the opposite decision a few months earlier than I made mine. And I wonder how her life is, and how happy she is. I really hope she is happy. But with every big decision you make, you always wonder, what if?
I now have my degree, but I'm living in a city where I have barely any friends, and I'm very much alone here. And as a lot of my friends back home know, I'm finding it rather difficult. So I often wonder if I had been happier making a different decision? My degree will never compensate from having the love of my friends and family around me, but I know if I had made a different decision, I would always regret not finishing my degree, and it would have been the biggest mistake I made.
So, do we really need to have everything to be happy? And sometimes, no matter what we do, can we just not win? Surely not everyone can have it all...
Money can't buy you happiness
A career doesn't give you emotional support
And love doesn't make you feel like you've accomplished anything.
If one of those three things are missing, we become unhappy. We either; Feel alone without love, Feel like we're wasting our lives or we're stressed and angry because we can't pay the bills. To be truly happy do we need to have it all?
A year ago I made the decision to end a relationship because drama connected to home and people around my partner were affecting my grades at university. (If my mum's reading this, she'll be well proud I picked uni over a boy!) But I often think about him, as well as an old friend who made the opposite decision a few months earlier than I made mine. And I wonder how her life is, and how happy she is. I really hope she is happy. But with every big decision you make, you always wonder, what if?
I now have my degree, but I'm living in a city where I have barely any friends, and I'm very much alone here. And as a lot of my friends back home know, I'm finding it rather difficult. So I often wonder if I had been happier making a different decision? My degree will never compensate from having the love of my friends and family around me, but I know if I had made a different decision, I would always regret not finishing my degree, and it would have been the biggest mistake I made.
So, do we really need to have everything to be happy? And sometimes, no matter what we do, can we just not win? Surely not everyone can have it all...
Friday, 24 May 2013
Should you listen to reputations?
Everyone has a reputation of some kind, good or bad. But do we judge people too quickly from what we hear from other people?
Just because someone claims someone is a certain thing, doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Reputations aren't always accurate. I've known plenty of people whose reputation gets carved over one person's lie, that's spread around the town. Though more often than not, there are some truths behind a reputation. As the saying goes, there's no smoke without fire.
Just because someone claims someone is a certain thing, doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Reputations aren't always accurate. I've known plenty of people whose reputation gets carved over one person's lie, that's spread around the town. Though more often than not, there are some truths behind a reputation. As the saying goes, there's no smoke without fire.
People's relationships can be heavily affected by a reputation, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, as someone's reputation could doubt someone into thinking whether or not they can trust the other person. To be honest, pretty much the only real way you have to find out, is by your own personal experience, or you've seen first hand the behaviour that's sparked it all off. If you don't personally know, you don't have a right to judge, though it doesn't mean you can't take what you've heard into account and be cautious. But to judge someone you don't know completely on hear'say is never fair.
They say there's no smoke without fire, and quite often someone's reputation has some kind of truth behind it, but does that define them as a person?
For example, one of the most common reputations that tends to stir trouble is when people are known to have slept around/be a slag. Where it's true that some people live up to that reputation, it's not the case for everyone, some people have gone through a small phase where they have slept with multiple people in a short space of time, but it was nothing more than a phase, and it's now past. Though the label has stuck with them. Doesn't mean they still sleep around though. Everyone has a past, and everyone's done shitty things that unfortunately people don't forget about.
With me, people haven't forgotten the fact I've cheated in relationships, yet that doesn't mean for a second that I'd do it again, and it doesn't mean that I can't be trusted in a relationship with someone else.
They say there's no smoke without fire, and quite often someone's reputation has some kind of truth behind it, but does that define them as a person?
For example, one of the most common reputations that tends to stir trouble is when people are known to have slept around/be a slag. Where it's true that some people live up to that reputation, it's not the case for everyone, some people have gone through a small phase where they have slept with multiple people in a short space of time, but it was nothing more than a phase, and it's now past. Though the label has stuck with them. Doesn't mean they still sleep around though. Everyone has a past, and everyone's done shitty things that unfortunately people don't forget about.
With me, people haven't forgotten the fact I've cheated in relationships, yet that doesn't mean for a second that I'd do it again, and it doesn't mean that I can't be trusted in a relationship with someone else.
I get a lot of advice emails asking whether they should pursue something with someone who has a reputation, and I always say the same thing. Be a little cautious, and don't be afraid to ask about it if it's playing on your mind. It might not always be the most comfortable conversation. But if the other person is honest, and genuinely respects you as a person, they'll give their side, and it's up to you what you believe.
We tend to judge too easily, and put our defenses up too quickly, and to be honest we have good reason to, the last thing we ever want to do is get hurt. But what exactly do you achieve by not giving anyone/anything a chance? Life is full of taking risks, and especially when it comes to the people in our lives. If something has the chance to be awesome, then take it.
We tend to judge too easily, and put our defenses up too quickly, and to be honest we have good reason to, the last thing we ever want to do is get hurt. But what exactly do you achieve by not giving anyone/anything a chance? Life is full of taking risks, and especially when it comes to the people in our lives. If something has the chance to be awesome, then take it.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Advice Blog: Accepting It's over.
'Rebbie.
I just wondered if you had any advice for me..
I've been in a relationship with this guy, for about a year now, and I've just started at University. Before I left I kept hinting that the relationship wasn't going to work while I was at uni, and to be honest, I don't really want to be in a relationship when I've just moved away, and settling in. But he hasn't taken any of my hints, he's even talking about coming to visit me next month, when I've got all settled in.
I'm not quite sure what to do, or how to tell him. It's not because I want to go and sleep around, and/or find someone else.. I just don't want to be in a relationship now..'
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The first and only thing you need to do in this situation is just be honest with him, there's really nothing else you can do, stop dropping hints and just tell him straight how you feel. A lot of couples break up just before one, or both of them leave for university, especially when it becomes a long-distance relationship. And some try and figure out the long-distance isn't going to work for them.
Obviously, he's going to be hurt, and you're going to be as well, but at the end of the day if it's what you want, and you're not happy in this relationship then you have to bite the bullet and break it off before he makes any set plans to come and see you.
Hopefully it'll help and you'll find things easier, good luck!
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Friday, 28 September 2012
battles worth fighting?
Friends are there for us through thick and thin, but at times, can those friends be there for us too much? Sometimes we push our friends away just for being there, or 'not caring' and sometimes for caring too much. In reality it's mainly because our friends share a different view to us, and we don't like it. So we argue and push them away.
So what arguments are worth fighting, and which aren't? Sometimes being the best friend can ruin your relationship. If a friend wants to make a decision which you know as an outsider is a big mistake. You're best off not pushing it, especially when it involves something close to their heart. A partner, or family etc, because the chances are they aren't going to change their mind.
As a friend, we should always respect the decisions of other people, if it's what they want to do, even though you know it's wrong, sometimes the best thing we can do is sit back and watch them make their own mistakes so they can learn from them.
People say the best friends people can have are the ones who step in and no matter what, will always stop you from making the wrong decisions, and I personally believe that is true. But sometimes we can't learn lessons in life unless we've personally made the mistakes, or at least watched people around us making the same ones. Plus the factor of the person in questions personality.
If it's clear that that person isn't going to change their mind, the best thing you can do is just sit back and support them through the decision, no matter how hard it is to watch. Because at the end of the day, what are you going to achieve? Nothing, apart from the possibility of losing a friendship. Unfortunately it's a similar situation to one that I've been involved in this past year, and one of my friendships fell apart. If you try and stop someone from doing what they want to do, no matter how wrong or how stupid it is, they're going to lose respect for you, because you're being 'unsupportive.'
You just have to figure out if it's something where your opinion in their decision is one they're really going to listen to, because if they want to make that decision enough, they won't, and is it worth losing a friendship over?
So what arguments are worth fighting, and which aren't? Sometimes being the best friend can ruin your relationship. If a friend wants to make a decision which you know as an outsider is a big mistake. You're best off not pushing it, especially when it involves something close to their heart. A partner, or family etc, because the chances are they aren't going to change their mind.
As a friend, we should always respect the decisions of other people, if it's what they want to do, even though you know it's wrong, sometimes the best thing we can do is sit back and watch them make their own mistakes so they can learn from them.
People say the best friends people can have are the ones who step in and no matter what, will always stop you from making the wrong decisions, and I personally believe that is true. But sometimes we can't learn lessons in life unless we've personally made the mistakes, or at least watched people around us making the same ones. Plus the factor of the person in questions personality.
If it's clear that that person isn't going to change their mind, the best thing you can do is just sit back and support them through the decision, no matter how hard it is to watch. Because at the end of the day, what are you going to achieve? Nothing, apart from the possibility of losing a friendship. Unfortunately it's a similar situation to one that I've been involved in this past year, and one of my friendships fell apart. If you try and stop someone from doing what they want to do, no matter how wrong or how stupid it is, they're going to lose respect for you, because you're being 'unsupportive.'
You just have to figure out if it's something where your opinion in their decision is one they're really going to listen to, because if they want to make that decision enough, they won't, and is it worth losing a friendship over?
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Advice Blog: Torn between two.
I've chosen this email from a fair few advice questions I've received over the past couple of weeks, as it's a topic that I've found myself in plenty of times, and that I've helped friends with too!
Unfortunately she didn't give me much to go on, but it's a common thing for people to go through!
'I've recently been having feelings for a couple of a guys, both of which like me and have been involved with, one is a really great friend and the other, well typically I didn't know liked me until my other fling started, which is gutting because I had a massive crush on him for ages before all this... To be honest, I don't even know what I really want advice on... I just have no idea what I'm doing!'
- Crushes are weird things aren't they! From the sounds of it, the way you said one of these guys were a 'friend' means it's either swinging both ways... He is more of a friend than a potential boyfriend, or this guy can actually be a really good match for you! Because he can play both roles! But there's nothing wrong with liking more than one person at once, seeing them both at the same time is a little dodgy, as if they or other people find out, you could be in for a lot of crap heading your way! :/.
But you need to work out what you actually want, by the sounds of it, you're not in the right place for an actual relationship, just a little bit of fun until your hormones wear down a little bit! haha.
If you know one of these guys really REALLY likes you, maybe you should cool it off until you decide what you want, otherwise he may find out about the other and then you'll lose their respect and friendship.
It's always a difficult one, especially seen as you probably won't want to lose either of them, but, how long can you play this game for? I'm not judging though... I've been there myself and it can be quite tough. Just be honest about how you feel to them, or give yourself some space from them both and see who you miss the most?
What about the guy you had a crush on before, is it just a physical thing, or do you know them well enough to be able to see them as something more? You're right with it being typical timing though, it seems to happen way too often!
You just have to figure out who you want. Though do you want either of them that bad if you're willing to continue a relationship with the other? I can't tell you how you feel, I wish i could! Maybe you should talk to each of them and find out how they're feeling, and what they think is going on between them and you. But, right now I don't think you're in any position to make a decision yet, but you are in a position to potentially hurt two guys...
The best thing to do is talk to each of them and try and find out how you feel and tell them sweetheart. Though saying that, I never have the balls to tell anyone how I feel. It's scary right? Just focus on you for now and when you realise who you like more/what you want. Just be honest and do what makes you happy.
Hope it helps chick! and good luck!! :D
Remember, you can still email me for any advice to be used for the blog or in confidence at; RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com
Facebook; Rebbie-Shane
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Unfortunately she didn't give me much to go on, but it's a common thing for people to go through!
'I've recently been having feelings for a couple of a guys, both of which like me and have been involved with, one is a really great friend and the other, well typically I didn't know liked me until my other fling started, which is gutting because I had a massive crush on him for ages before all this... To be honest, I don't even know what I really want advice on... I just have no idea what I'm doing!'
- Crushes are weird things aren't they! From the sounds of it, the way you said one of these guys were a 'friend' means it's either swinging both ways... He is more of a friend than a potential boyfriend, or this guy can actually be a really good match for you! Because he can play both roles! But there's nothing wrong with liking more than one person at once, seeing them both at the same time is a little dodgy, as if they or other people find out, you could be in for a lot of crap heading your way! :/.
But you need to work out what you actually want, by the sounds of it, you're not in the right place for an actual relationship, just a little bit of fun until your hormones wear down a little bit! haha.
If you know one of these guys really REALLY likes you, maybe you should cool it off until you decide what you want, otherwise he may find out about the other and then you'll lose their respect and friendship.
It's always a difficult one, especially seen as you probably won't want to lose either of them, but, how long can you play this game for? I'm not judging though... I've been there myself and it can be quite tough. Just be honest about how you feel to them, or give yourself some space from them both and see who you miss the most?
What about the guy you had a crush on before, is it just a physical thing, or do you know them well enough to be able to see them as something more? You're right with it being typical timing though, it seems to happen way too often!
You just have to figure out who you want. Though do you want either of them that bad if you're willing to continue a relationship with the other? I can't tell you how you feel, I wish i could! Maybe you should talk to each of them and find out how they're feeling, and what they think is going on between them and you. But, right now I don't think you're in any position to make a decision yet, but you are in a position to potentially hurt two guys...
The best thing to do is talk to each of them and try and find out how you feel and tell them sweetheart. Though saying that, I never have the balls to tell anyone how I feel. It's scary right? Just focus on you for now and when you realise who you like more/what you want. Just be honest and do what makes you happy.
Hope it helps chick! and good luck!! :D
Remember, you can still email me for any advice to be used for the blog or in confidence at; RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com
Facebook; Rebbie-Shane
Twitter; @Rebbie_Shane
Sunday, 27 May 2012
Admitting mistakes
What else to come back into my blog with than with a little telling off! =D... I joke of course. Though there is something that has been in debate with me and a couple of friends recently and that's admitting mistakes.
We do all sometimes lie and run away from the things that we have done, I've done it plenty in the past, and sometimes I still do and it is only because we're a little scared of the consequences and the telling off that we'll get!
If you can get away with shit, you can get away with shit... right?
It's not always the case though is it? We have flawed natures and personalities which means every now and again we're going to do shit that's going to hurt the people we care about and end up damaging relationships and friendships.
I know that sometimes the things we've done wrong can be forever hidden, but that's not always the case. I do believe that we should always own up to shitting on people, but I do also believe that if you're going to cause someone unnecessary hurt, then you should probably keep your mouth shut. Because I don't agree with hurting people when you can get away with not doing.
For example.
Me and my ex just broke up, and as a lot of you know, that was a long distance thing. But say if one of us had cheated, and spent the night with someone else. If that then caused the decision for us to break up with the other one? Would it be all that bad to also throw in the fact you'd slept with someone else?
Personally, I wouldn't want to know. But there is the conflict of what is the right thing to do. Because the right thing would be to be honest right?
Or would the right thing to do, be to go the 'cowards way out' and not cause that extra bit of hurt?
(BTW, that was all hypothetical! As far as I know... neither of us cheated...*suspicious stare* :p).
What do you guys think? Is it ok for us to sometimes break moral rules and have secrets to prevent causing more damage? Or do you think it's just a cowards way out?
Comment on
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Twitter: @Rebbie_Shane
Email: RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com (Yes, i got a new email, and it makes sound like a big shot, even though I'm not!)
Remember; I'm still doing advice through my email. Even though I've been away for a while, I'm still getting loads of messages from you guys :D.
AND; (Permitting I get my last assignment finished!) MY FIRST VIDEO WILL BE DONE TOMORROW :D
Get excited folks!
We do all sometimes lie and run away from the things that we have done, I've done it plenty in the past, and sometimes I still do and it is only because we're a little scared of the consequences and the telling off that we'll get!
If you can get away with shit, you can get away with shit... right?
It's not always the case though is it? We have flawed natures and personalities which means every now and again we're going to do shit that's going to hurt the people we care about and end up damaging relationships and friendships.
I know that sometimes the things we've done wrong can be forever hidden, but that's not always the case. I do believe that we should always own up to shitting on people, but I do also believe that if you're going to cause someone unnecessary hurt, then you should probably keep your mouth shut. Because I don't agree with hurting people when you can get away with not doing.
For example.
Me and my ex just broke up, and as a lot of you know, that was a long distance thing. But say if one of us had cheated, and spent the night with someone else. If that then caused the decision for us to break up with the other one? Would it be all that bad to also throw in the fact you'd slept with someone else?
Personally, I wouldn't want to know. But there is the conflict of what is the right thing to do. Because the right thing would be to be honest right?
Or would the right thing to do, be to go the 'cowards way out' and not cause that extra bit of hurt?
(BTW, that was all hypothetical! As far as I know... neither of us cheated...*suspicious stare* :p).
What do you guys think? Is it ok for us to sometimes break moral rules and have secrets to prevent causing more damage? Or do you think it's just a cowards way out?
Comment on
Facebook: Rebbie-Shane
Twitter: @Rebbie_Shane
Email: RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com (Yes, i got a new email, and it makes sound like a big shot, even though I'm not!)
Remember; I'm still doing advice through my email. Even though I've been away for a while, I'm still getting loads of messages from you guys :D.
AND; (Permitting I get my last assignment finished!) MY FIRST VIDEO WILL BE DONE TOMORROW :D
Get excited folks!
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Decisions.
The thing is, we all make decisions. Right, wrong, indifferent, stupid, crazy, smart etc, and each decision we make takes us on a different path.
Some we keep secret, and some we push out there. We judge people by the decisions they make, but who are we to judge them?
Everyone makes decisions that some people won't agree with. But this is our life. If you're going to make big decisions you have to;
-Know the negative as well as the positive consequences.
-Accept that not everyone will agree with them
Some we keep secret, and some we push out there. We judge people by the decisions they make, but who are we to judge them?
Everyone makes decisions that some people won't agree with. But this is our life. If you're going to make big decisions you have to;
-Know the negative as well as the positive consequences.
-Accept that not everyone will agree with them
-Those who don't will sometimes have a strong opinion and therefore a large mouth!
-Accept every negative response/consequence as well as the positive.
You'd think these are pretty simple and everyone follows them? But they don't and some people genuinely aren't prepared for the negativity that comes with some decisions. One of the most common I've seen recently is one of the most stupid things. Offensive jokes/quotes/sayings... or even jokes/quotes/saying in general really, whether you say them online, through text, to peoples faces etc, a lot of people can't stand the fact that some people will turn round and not agree, be offended by what people say... and it starts an argument. For example, when a celebrity dies, facebook/twitter etc goes mad with jokes, puns etc. The person saying is only having a bit of a laugh, but it always goes to a person/people who don't like it, say something, and that person who told the joke or what have you goes ape shit at this person for being offended.
We all know that situation right?
If you're going to say something taboo/offensive or anything along that train or even on another train, in life everyone disagrees, accept it, don't kick off and be a dick. The words 'I didn't mean for that to offend anyone' or even the words 'Sorry' aren't hard to say/type. It's not hard to accept that someone's feelings were tugged at, just as it's not hard to accept that people find what you say, or what other people say humorous.
Another different example...
We all go out and have a laugh with our friends, have amazing nights out, some of us even drink a little too much and some people even like to take the occasional person home with them.
Everyone who knows me knows I don't have a problem with single people having one night stands etc. You're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. But sometimes this does cause a negative image with some people if this is a regular thing, or if that person you take home is a wanker and doesn't tell you they're with someone/married/engaged/a monk/nun/elephant/tree what have you, you have to be honest, who has time for a background check on a night out?
I'm not saying anyone should put up with abuse like that, not in the slightest, but people talk, people bitch, you have to learn to take the bullshit and put it in a place where it can't hurt you. I see it's not the best example to use, but as much as people have to accept you aren't doing anything intentionally bad, you also have to take bad responses, and throw them over your shoulder in the best way possible. It's just a different view point to a very common situation.
You know, you make decisions, sometimes we get negative reactions etc. But that's just life. Sometime's we're totally not prepared for them and they catch us off guard. Sometimes we genuinely believe we're not doing anything wrong and that's fine. Not one person on this earth hasn't made a bad/wrong decision. We're imperfect, but I believe that's what makes us perfect people.
Some people make bad decisions, knowing they're bad, but won't accept the bad consequences. People like that... they're just cowards. The strongest people take situations as they are, good or bad.
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-Accept every negative response/consequence as well as the positive.
You'd think these are pretty simple and everyone follows them? But they don't and some people genuinely aren't prepared for the negativity that comes with some decisions. One of the most common I've seen recently is one of the most stupid things. Offensive jokes/quotes/sayings... or even jokes/quotes/saying in general really, whether you say them online, through text, to peoples faces etc, a lot of people can't stand the fact that some people will turn round and not agree, be offended by what people say... and it starts an argument. For example, when a celebrity dies, facebook/twitter etc goes mad with jokes, puns etc. The person saying is only having a bit of a laugh, but it always goes to a person/people who don't like it, say something, and that person who told the joke or what have you goes ape shit at this person for being offended.
We all know that situation right?
If you're going to say something taboo/offensive or anything along that train or even on another train, in life everyone disagrees, accept it, don't kick off and be a dick. The words 'I didn't mean for that to offend anyone' or even the words 'Sorry' aren't hard to say/type. It's not hard to accept that someone's feelings were tugged at, just as it's not hard to accept that people find what you say, or what other people say humorous.
Another different example...
We all go out and have a laugh with our friends, have amazing nights out, some of us even drink a little too much and some people even like to take the occasional person home with them.
Everyone who knows me knows I don't have a problem with single people having one night stands etc. You're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. But sometimes this does cause a negative image with some people if this is a regular thing, or if that person you take home is a wanker and doesn't tell you they're with someone/married/engaged/a monk/nun/elephant/tree what have you, you have to be honest, who has time for a background check on a night out?
I'm not saying anyone should put up with abuse like that, not in the slightest, but people talk, people bitch, you have to learn to take the bullshit and put it in a place where it can't hurt you. I see it's not the best example to use, but as much as people have to accept you aren't doing anything intentionally bad, you also have to take bad responses, and throw them over your shoulder in the best way possible. It's just a different view point to a very common situation.
You know, you make decisions, sometimes we get negative reactions etc. But that's just life. Sometime's we're totally not prepared for them and they catch us off guard. Sometimes we genuinely believe we're not doing anything wrong and that's fine. Not one person on this earth hasn't made a bad/wrong decision. We're imperfect, but I believe that's what makes us perfect people.
Some people make bad decisions, knowing they're bad, but won't accept the bad consequences. People like that... they're just cowards. The strongest people take situations as they are, good or bad.
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