I personally don't have any views on it, it's just a case of someone has either had sex or hasn't. But I will be honest. Since moving away from my old town, I was shocked to meet so many people at University who were still virgins. So I got to wondering, is my home town just that corrupt? Or is it to do with the public view on teenagers and sex.
One of the biggest fears for parents is having their child walk in the house one day and telling them they're pregnant/or got someone pregnant. So parents make sure they drill into their kids heads that they know about safe sex and to only do it when they're ready (and more often or not, when they're old enough!) I remember the talk my mum gave me...
Mum: Do you know the most 100% way of not getting pregnant is?
Me: Yes mother......
Mum: Well... what is it?
Me: Yes mother......
Mum: Well... what is it?
Me: Don't have sex..
Mum: YES!... Do not have sex!
Mum: YES!... Do not have sex!
Is there really any pressure out there to have sex? Or do we just bring it on ourselves? Most of the pressure I do find is from the guys, to themselves or sometimes on to girls. Not all guys mind you, but you do get the select few who always try and worm their way into bed with a girl, and us girls can sometimes be deluded into thinking he'll respect me if I do, or he'll stay with me... Really isn't the case as we figure out as we get a little older, and we end up regretting what we've done and feeling silly.
(As always there's those few exceptions where it does happen to be the other way round, and it's the guys who end up regretting things, and us girls acting like dicks...)
(As always there's those few exceptions where it does happen to be the other way round, and it's the guys who end up regretting things, and us girls acting like dicks...)
My two friends who asked me to write about this, are both guys, and friends who I love dearly. I'll say to them what I say to anyone, don't have sex unless your ready... simple enough. The same boring stuff that comes out of nearly everyone's mouths...
There is a little banter thrown in direction of people who are still virgins, i used to tease my cousin a little, saying he was cute, but i just liked to wind him up generally :p. Sometimes banter can be unintentionally pressuring people into doing something, just because they don't like the teasing and they want it to stop. You just have to remember that we don't want to pressure you into doing anything, if you feel upset by jokes within your groups of friends, just ask them to stop, explain how you feel, and true friends will respect that.
There is a little banter thrown in direction of people who are still virgins, i used to tease my cousin a little, saying he was cute, but i just liked to wind him up generally :p. Sometimes banter can be unintentionally pressuring people into doing something, just because they don't like the teasing and they want it to stop. You just have to remember that we don't want to pressure you into doing anything, if you feel upset by jokes within your groups of friends, just ask them to stop, explain how you feel, and true friends will respect that.
Two people that I met at uni were virgins when I first met them, one of them was a particular interesting to watch as her views changed throughout the first year of uni.
When I first met her, she seem proud of herself for saving herself for so long, wanting to wait till someone special came along, and good on her! But after a while, she started to think 'I just want it over and done with'
Typical that a couple of months later she meets a good guy, and wishes she'd waited till him.
I know a few people who don't let themselves feel the pressure, and are happy as anything not having sex. I do wish it was the same for younger teenagers who are feeling the pressure. There really is no need to. If you're not ready then don't do it.
Remember this...
-If you feel having sex will improve/strengthen/or create a relationship with someone, then it's not worth doing it. Because more often than not, it won't change a thing.
When I first met her, she seem proud of herself for saving herself for so long, wanting to wait till someone special came along, and good on her! But after a while, she started to think 'I just want it over and done with'
Typical that a couple of months later she meets a good guy, and wishes she'd waited till him.
I know a few people who don't let themselves feel the pressure, and are happy as anything not having sex. I do wish it was the same for younger teenagers who are feeling the pressure. There really is no need to. If you're not ready then don't do it.
Remember this...
-If you feel having sex will improve/strengthen/or create a relationship with someone, then it's not worth doing it. Because more often than not, it won't change a thing.
- No one particulary cares about whether you've had sex or not, and whoever does. Just ask, why should they? It really isn't anything to do with them.
But I want to know what you think, if you are a virgin, do you ever feel pressured?
Or how do you see people who haven't had sex? Do you respect the fact they haven't?
But I want to know what you think, if you are a virgin, do you ever feel pressured?
Or how do you see people who haven't had sex? Do you respect the fact they haven't?
Or do you think sex isn't anything of a big deal any more and 'virginity' is something that doesn't really matter anymore?
Facebook/twitter links are above, email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
Or as usual you can just comment below :).
Facebook/twitter links are above, email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
Or as usual you can just comment below :).
Tbh, I don't feel pressured, a lot of people say to me they wish they have waited so long like I have, and they respect me for it. While others say, how on earth have you not had sex yet? And I just say, I'm waiting for when I'm ready and it's nothing to do with you anyway. :P
ReplyDeleteA good friend of mine even said, "Suze your so pure" which I don't know if that's a compliment or not :S haha!
Tbh, I respect people who wait until they find that one special person, patience is a good trait. And people say that sex isn't that big of a thing, but I think it is, and it has to mean something, I mean I wouldn't just jump in bed with anyone, I'd have to love them and actually be with them, then it would defiantly be worth the wait, having that strong connection with someone that you trust enough to have sex with.
Some people may think different to me, so I'm not saying that is what everyone should think, but that's my view on it anyhow. :)
Another awesome blog rebbie, keep up the work, I'm loving them all! :) xxx
Suze, I have a lot of respect for you. There is a huge difference in my opinion between sex and making love. Sex is something people do to say they've done it or to sort a need. Does it have a meaning though?
ReplyDeleteMaking love is something you do with someone you love. It is so much more and has so much meaning behind it. Making love is something you do when the time feels right when your both ready and when a relationship is at the right stage.
I don't agree with people who do it for fun or when no meaning is in it.
I believe you should wait for the right person you should save it, it is so much more if you do. Unfortunatly sometimes we think we are there but then the relationship breaks done and your first time is no longer as special. One thing though if you wait for the right time even if the relationship fails it still has meaning behind it and still makes it right.
I may have contridicted myself a bit but it's a topic that can be of mixed opinnions.
Keep up the excellent blogs Rebbie.
Awh, thank you, that's nice of you to say. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with you on that, some people just do it for fun, but it won't be so fun if they caught an STD or something. Some don't even use protection which is just stupid.
Quite a few people don't really respect themselves that much and they just do it to make themselves feel good, but in the end it doesn't really work out.
and I agree, wait for the right person then it will mean more. :)