Long distance relationships....

Most people don't really like the idea of a long distance relationship, and I understand why, it's not always ideal to have someone how-ever many miles away that you only get to see once a month. But seen as myself and 5 of my closest friends are involved in long distance relationships, I thought it was interesting how differently went about it.
Some people find it harder than others, I find it surprisingly easy to cope with the fact Sam's over 200 miles away, and I think that has a lot to do with the fact I'm living with the greatest people ever who I love spending time with, and I'm getting really used to it now. The great thing is today, with mobile phones and stuff you can go about your day as you would, but still be in contact with that person, texting etc. It's so bloody convenient. I can sit and chill with my housemates, and be able to send a little text every now and again.
I always joke saying my boyfriends 250 miles and that's where I like him! But I'm at uni, the main point of me being 250 miles away is to learn and get my degree, and I feel like this year being in a relationship with someone who isn't in Aber, I'm doing so much better for myself.
People debate on how often is too often to see each other, and obviously the amount of distance between you, will affect it for the obvious reasons such as the time it takes to travel and the cost. I really don't get to see my boyfriend that much, but for me, I think the time we spend together is more or less just right. Some of my flatmates get to see their partners a fair bit more than I get to see mine. Which is perfectly fine, I just personally can't justify spending that much money, and spending that much time travelling to spend a day or two extra with Sam. But then again I do live 7 hours away....
If you're going to be in a long distance relationship, you need to find the right balance in your life for it, and so many people get it wrong. They think they have the balance right, because they've put first the things that make them temporarily happy. But this doesn't just happen in long distance relationships, it's happens in relationships in general too.
People who are perfectly happy in their jobs or education etc, have every aspect of their life secure and happy, meet someone and put all their energy into a relationship with someone they've known for like 5 mins, and in result they get so behind on work, spend all their money making that effort to seeing their new partners etc, and everything else just goes to pot. Their hearts in the right place in the their relationships but not for themselves, what makes it worse is that the stress they cause in letting the other good things in their life slip, they don't recognise that it's caused by how the relationship has taken over their lives a little too much, and think that the relationship is only non-stressful thing in their life. Make sure you have the right balance in your life. I've found mine and I really couldn't be happier.

I have a guest post here from my best friend back home Kim. She's pretty damn familiar with long distance relationships, and she probably does know a lot better than me. But if you like what she has to say here, follow her blog (which is linked at the bottom of her post) and don't forget to leave comments and tell me what you think about long distance relationships, or if you have any stories of your own. My email address is Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com. Thanks guys!


Kim:
Long distance relationships seem to be one thing in life that is avoided like the plague for alot of reasons. For one thing, alot of people feel that it's too much effort to make for someone you don't know very well.
But why not?
Well, look at it this way, if you're looking for someone you can cuddle every night (among other things), go out with and generally have a good time, as most people are, then that kind of relationship is going to be hard to maintain over a long period of separation.

I used to say to my friends that one upside of seeing someone infrequently (i.e, when either of us could be bothered) was that I could do my own thing and tell him to get stuffed if he was being pushy. The time that we saw each other was time we spent 'together'. I'm actually referring to the relationship I had with my ex. Overall we were together for just over 3 years. The majority of that was spent long distance, and the realtionship fell apart after we moved in together.
Somewhere between my ex and my current relationship, my views changed and I, honestly, grew up. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. We see each other as much as we can, which normally means once a month.
The fundamental difference (beyond their completely contrasting personalities) is that I want to make the effort for him. I want to proactively further the relationship, whereas it just seemed like 'the next step' with my ex. It was what was expected of us.
I'm not condoning long distance relationships; they are a lot of hard work and the're not for the faint hearted in the slightest- I ought to know, I've been in enough of them!
My point is that with long distance, if the feelings are mutual, it can work. It takes a lot of patience and determination but the fact remains that it is amazing if it is wanted by both parties.
Feel free to ask me your questions; email me at kmuncey10@gmail.com or tweet me @typhoonfighter.

For kim's blog which is all about life after school, (whether you take the route into higher education or employment) follow this link.. http://life-uni-jobs-101.blogspot.com/