Getting over it.

Something a lot of people talk about when someone’s relationship has fallen apart is, how long do we give ourselves to get over it?
There are so many different opinions on this, some people say you should give yourself half of the actual time you spent together to get over it and some people say after 'insert amount of time' you should be over it. etc etc

Truth is, there isn't a 'rule' or a stated amount of time you should give yourself to get over a relationship, everyone is different, everyone hurts more than others, and others less. They are your feelings, you shouldn't rush them.
If you pretend to yourself you've moved on before you actually haven't, you're only going to hurt yourself more and other people too, because you're just not ready to move on.
A lot of people get hurt by people rushing into new relationships to get over the old ones, usually by the pressure of their friends, who have the best intentions; they just want you to be happy again. But it actually has the opposite effect.
Take your time to get over the relationship, give yourself as much time as you need. But there are a few things you should avoid...

Your friends are there to support you, and they'll be there for you, no matter what. But you shouldn't rely on them too much, there's only so much talking about your ex that they can take. Take your mind off things by spending plenty of time with your friends, and concentrate on them. Friends are also there to have a good time with and to drag your spirits up when you are feeling down, not just an emotional blanket to comfort you.

Don't rush straight into a close friendship with your ex-partner immediately after a break up, by all means be civil and stuff, but if you're not emotionally over the relationship, the best therapy is to distance yourself from that person, get used to life without them. If they're still there, it becomes a lot harder to forget them.
There are the few exceptions where a couple can go straight into being friends after the relationship has fallen apart, but a lot more times than not, if there's still one person wishing the relationship would heal, there's always going to be that effort from the one party to make it work again. It will stay on your mind, and to be slightly blunt you're doing nothing but emotionally torturing yourself, especially if your ex-partner has moved on. Honestly, distance is the best healer for anyone in this situation.

As I mentioned earlier, don't rush into a new relationship if you're not over the old one, no matter what anyone says, I know just as much as anyone how friends can be like 'Oh you should get with that person, they're so lovely' etc etc. If you're not ready, then just don't go there. You're only going to create a messy situation, where you unintentionally lead someone on, and again emotionally torture yourself because you're thinking, if you could have a relationship, it would be your old one, and it just won't work. In the end, you end up ruining friendships, and people just end up hurt.

I don't believe in judging someone because they're not over a relationship, I know it can be a little frustrating when friends talk about their ex all the time, and it's been god knows how long since they've broken up. But they're your friend, and they're still hurting. If anything try and guide them away from the topic, personally I tell my friends they're not allowed to talk about them, and whenever they do, I'm just like *zip!*. Obviously I don't do it all the time, people need to vent when they're feeling hurt, but at times us friends do need the break from it all, but it's such a sensitive subject for them, you really should get too frustrated with them.
A lot of people get upset when friends talk too much about their ex, and that friend gets upset when that friend turns around and says something along the lines of 'You should be over it by now' kind of thing, as i said, it's a sensitive subject for them, with a little understanding from both sides, you can avoid the extra upset it causes and just be happy.

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