How do you know if it's just sex?

When we start a sexual relationship with someone, one of the quickest misunderstandings we come to is the other person's intentions towards you. You learn pretty quickly in life, that a lot of the people, quite a lot of the time are just looking for something casual. I  get emailed a lot by people explaining their situations and asking whether it sounds like they're just after sex/something casual or a relationship.... so here are a few points to consider, which I believe are the most obvious ways of knowing that you're in a casual/just sex based relationship.

1) You never leave the bedroom: One of the obvious ones. If you guys are always in the bedroom... and I don't mean you go screwing outside, that really doesn't count. If your relationship is just in bed, no drinks, no movies, no nights out. You're 'relationship' isn't going anywhere...

2) You don't talk about future plans: A little similar to number one, but if you don't even make plans to go out and do anything else, then this person isn't interesting in anything emotional. If you say 'we should go see a film this week' and the next time you meet up... it's in your bedroom or his. You're stuck in a non-relationship.

3) They aren't telling their friends: If no one really knows apart from your friends that you're screwing this person... yeah, they aren't that bothered.

4) They act different towards you in public: I don't mean that they're not overly affectionate, because some people just aren't like that in public. But if they don't hold your hand, or only hold your hand down the quieter streets. Also if they change the way they speak to you, if they aren't so familiar with you in their conversation or tone, they're trying not to arouse any suspicion. 

5) Their text frequency: Everyone knows when you're into someone, you text them more than you would anyone else. If they only reply to say... half your conversation starters or you only have short conversations. They aren't that bothered. If you find yourself finding a reason to text them, in order for them to text you back a lot of the time... then you've been suckered.

There are so many more reasons as to how you can figure out if the person you're dating is in fact dating or not dating you too. But these in my opinion are the biggest and most obvious. If you have any questions, or anything, as always feel free to contact me either by:

Emailing me at: RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com
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Following us on Twitter: @Rebbie_Shane

It's kinda hard to live without regrets...

Everyone says you shouldn't regret anything, regrets only cause you to be upset and quite often live in the past. Which to be fair is very true, but if there's nothing in life that we regret, what do we really learn from our mistakes?
All the biggest and most important social lessons I've learnt so far come from situations and decisions that have made me cringe like hell looking back on them. The things we tend not to regret are the things we get away with or we don't care too much about, so we end up making the same silly mistakes again.

Regret is a powerful thing, and as much people encourage you not to live your life with regrets, I think they are necessary to us, when it comes to learning life lessons. The trick is, not to allow them to make you think in the past, and of 'what could of been.' But to use them to fuel you to either fix the situation, or to avoid putting yourself in that situation again.

This is something I'm only learning properly now, I've spend the past few months with my head and my dreams back in last year, it's not healthy for you mentally or emotionally. All I know is that I have to take my regrets and try and use them positively, and maybe in the future I'll see it more of a learning curve than a mistake or a regret... and I'll be a little happier! :)

Sometimes when we're stuck in the middle of what to do in a situation, our heart tells us to do one thing, and our head tells us to do the complete opposite. Usually the decision your heart is telling you to do equals risking looking like a giant buffoon, or as silly as the speedo guy at my swimming centre. But at the same time, if you don't make that decision and follow your heart, you know you'll regret not trying. So what are you to do?
Some people say, if you want it enough, nothing will stop you reaching for it, and some say, if you want it enough, the thought of not achieving it or in situations of love and relationships being rejected is enough to scare you out of being honest.
At the end of the day, if you go with your head, there's always going to be some hurt with 'what could of been' but at least if you go with your heart, you actually have the chance of being completely happy. You just have to work out for yourself whether you're happy to risk it.

Advice blog: My best friend and my ex.

Those of you that follow me on facebook and twitter know that one of my main focuses at the moment is health, but before I bore you to death with all that, I have another advice blog for you.

A lot of us have been in this situation before, whichever role we've played....

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Hey Rebbie-Shane!
Me and my best friend have been friends for as long as I can remember, and last year I started to see my now ex boyfriend. We had a really good relationship  for the most part but unfortunately towards the end of the relationship he was cheating on me, as soon as I found out, i ended it. But I do still have feelings for him.
My best friend never is someone to be horrible towards anyone, so even though she wasn't happy with what my ex did to me, when he needed someone to talk to, she was there for him.
But now they're really really close, and I was scared that one day I'd find out they were seeing each other, or that they liked each other...
The other day, my friend asked me if I would be ok if they started seeing each other, and she said to me that she wouldn't date him if she knew it would upset me.. I said that it would, because... it would, but now I'm starting to feel a bit bad because I'm the reason they're not seeing each other.
I'm not quite sure what to do...

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Our friend's ex partners are usually a definite no-go area, but you do have to give your friend some credit for being honest with you, and talking to you about it. It obviously wasn't easy for you to hear but it won't of been easy for her to be honest about the situation.
At the end of the day, your friend has put you first, and if she's expressed that she doesn't want anything to happen with this guy because she's concerned for your feelings, then her priority in this situation is obviously her friendship with you.
Don't think of it as, you're the one stopping them from being together, she's obviously made that choice to put your feelings first, it's what friends do, and at the end of the day, I'm sure you'd do the same for her.
If you do feel bad, explain to her that you don't want to be the reason those two don't give things a go, but you appreciate the fact she has been honest with you, but don't forget to still be honest about how you feel about it. Don't go ignoring how you feel!
I'm going to assume that you'd rather not see your ex with your best friend though, it's very rare we're that nice! But even though she's crushing on your ex, you guys obviously have a good relationship if you can talk about this.
So tell her that, if you do feel bad, but it sounds to me like she's put her friendship with you first, because that's what she wants, rather than to risk that for a thing with your ex!
Hope it helps!  :)
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Hope you're still having a happy 2013!