One thing that I see with many couples and relationships is that they spend all their time arguing and being annoyed at each other, and it just makes me think, why are you guys even together?
I know a few people have commented on this, and feel the same way as me, and asked advice on this, the only thing I can say is to just ask yourselves...
Are you happy? Seems like a stupid obvious question. But really think about it, does arguing make you happy? honestly? Too many people turn around and say 'But he/she makes me happy' or that when it's good it's amazing. But are the bad times really worth the good times?
We all get stressed out with our relationships at some point, but a lot of couples bicker and argue almost every day if not every day. Yet still won't leave each other. Everyone deserves so much better than that. If you're getting upset with each other that often then the truth is, you're just not right for each other.
Would you stick around through all that arguing if it was with a friend? Doubtful.
Everyone goes through rough patches, where arguing seems to be constant, this is usually because the trust in the relationship has been broken by one of the partners, You do sometimes get through it, but that's what breaks are for right? To escape that.
Keeping a relationship together so tightly through rough patches like those, only puts more pressure and strain into a relationship.
People are terrified of going on 'breaks' because they feel it is the end of the relationship, and people do use the term 'break' to break up, so it's understandable. But they are good for giving the relationship what it needs to get back on track. It's not rocket science to know that taking the pressure away from a relationship will do it good. Space always helps the relationship calm down, and gives people the chance to get over what is hurting them.
Just a thought :)
Showing posts with label hatred. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hatred. Show all posts
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Friday, 2 December 2011
Are we really sluts?
Insults seem to be losing their touch recently, they're way too commonly thrown about, it seems no one really likes each other anymore!
Every girl nowadays is a slut! But the truth is most of the people who get called sluts aren't. It takes a lot more now for anyone to be a slut, or a manslag etc today. With sex being thrown at us left, right and centre, and without the expectation of being a virgin until marriage, fact is, people are fucking doing it.
But why is the term slut/slag/whore etc thrown around so much? I have friends who get called a slut or whatever and they've never even gone close to guy like that. Fact is we're all so desperate for insults now, everyone hates on people they don't even know, whether its just to back up a friend who doesn't like them or some other impersonal reason like we've heard rumours about them. People are so childish now a days, and it just shows that people are dissing people they don't know just by how the first thing that comes out of their mouth about them is that they're a slag.
But really what makes someone a slag now a days?
Where I'm from you just have to flirt with the wrong guy to be branded a slag for the next however many months. If you want my opinion, I think it's mainly where your intentions lie that tells if you're a slag or not.
What I saw last friday while I was in my student union was actually kinda of horrible, a girl, who was barely wearing anything as it was, dancing like some kind of stripper with (yes I counted) 8 different guys on the platform through out the night, and participating in acts which are definitely not appropriate to do in the club.
People who put themselves out like that rightly earn that reputation, whether or not they are like that usually or it was just a one off, multiple people in one night, yeah, you're slagging around a bit yeah?
There's nothing particularly wrong with going out, meeting someone and having a one night thing when you're single. It's pretty much socially accepted that every now and again you let your hair down and have some fun. That in my opinion doesn't make anyone a slag, but taking to too many people within a short space of time, yeah, you're giving it away too easy.
We judge people too easily in our society. In the beginning of my description of the girl just above, I commented on the fact she was barely wearing something that covered her, and I used that slightly as an insult. But only to show my point here, most of you reading that wouldn't of thought anything of that. A lot of people judge on the way people dress. A lot of people get judged for wearing shorter things and get called sluts etc. I know a few people who don't cover up so much and they are nothing but a slag or a slut whatever. We're just too quick to give someone a negative label no reason.
People who do like to participate in sexual activities in my opinion isn't automatically a slut. Everyone likes to have a bit of fun every now and again. But it's the people who cheat, and people that knowingly sleep with someone who has a partner etc. People who hurt people through having sex and stuff. I don't have a problem with two single people going about and having fun, they're not hurting anyone so it shouldn't really be that much of a problem should it?
But on the other hand there has to be a limit on what you're doing and how many people you're doing it with. There is such a thing as too much fun, and you can't really go around sleeping with every single person out there. You can have your fun without being a slag, but just don't take it too far. Respect yourselves yeah? :).
Every girl nowadays is a slut! But the truth is most of the people who get called sluts aren't. It takes a lot more now for anyone to be a slut, or a manslag etc today. With sex being thrown at us left, right and centre, and without the expectation of being a virgin until marriage, fact is, people are fucking doing it.
But why is the term slut/slag/whore etc thrown around so much? I have friends who get called a slut or whatever and they've never even gone close to guy like that. Fact is we're all so desperate for insults now, everyone hates on people they don't even know, whether its just to back up a friend who doesn't like them or some other impersonal reason like we've heard rumours about them. People are so childish now a days, and it just shows that people are dissing people they don't know just by how the first thing that comes out of their mouth about them is that they're a slag.
But really what makes someone a slag now a days?
Where I'm from you just have to flirt with the wrong guy to be branded a slag for the next however many months. If you want my opinion, I think it's mainly where your intentions lie that tells if you're a slag or not.
What I saw last friday while I was in my student union was actually kinda of horrible, a girl, who was barely wearing anything as it was, dancing like some kind of stripper with (yes I counted) 8 different guys on the platform through out the night, and participating in acts which are definitely not appropriate to do in the club.
People who put themselves out like that rightly earn that reputation, whether or not they are like that usually or it was just a one off, multiple people in one night, yeah, you're slagging around a bit yeah?
There's nothing particularly wrong with going out, meeting someone and having a one night thing when you're single. It's pretty much socially accepted that every now and again you let your hair down and have some fun. That in my opinion doesn't make anyone a slag, but taking to too many people within a short space of time, yeah, you're giving it away too easy.
We judge people too easily in our society. In the beginning of my description of the girl just above, I commented on the fact she was barely wearing something that covered her, and I used that slightly as an insult. But only to show my point here, most of you reading that wouldn't of thought anything of that. A lot of people judge on the way people dress. A lot of people get judged for wearing shorter things and get called sluts etc. I know a few people who don't cover up so much and they are nothing but a slag or a slut whatever. We're just too quick to give someone a negative label no reason.
People who do like to participate in sexual activities in my opinion isn't automatically a slut. Everyone likes to have a bit of fun every now and again. But it's the people who cheat, and people that knowingly sleep with someone who has a partner etc. People who hurt people through having sex and stuff. I don't have a problem with two single people going about and having fun, they're not hurting anyone so it shouldn't really be that much of a problem should it?
But on the other hand there has to be a limit on what you're doing and how many people you're doing it with. There is such a thing as too much fun, and you can't really go around sleeping with every single person out there. You can have your fun without being a slag, but just don't take it too far. Respect yourselves yeah? :).
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
The Friends and Ex boyfriends debate.
Ending a relationship is always hard, and it’s always hard to see your friends going through break ups too. One of the main uncertainties during and after a break up is the state of relationships with your ex partner and the people around you both. A lot of people take sides when a break up happens, usually more so when that break up isn’t the smoothest of ones.
But is there really any need half of time? I’ve seen a lot of petty shit get thrown around over things that happened in a relationship that really has nothing to do with them.
I have a question for you, how close is too close when you’re closest friends are friends with your ex partner? Obviously we have the unwritten rule that you just don’t get involved romantically with your friends ex right? And most people would say they wouldn’t mind their friends being friends with their ex, as long as nothing more was going on between them, yes?
I have a scenario I’d like to share with you, and there’s a lot of mixed emotions involved with this, and your opinion would be really really appreciated!
Your friend and their partner break up, and in the months they have been together, you’ve developed a friendship with this person your friend has been with. A while goes by and your friend is still rather devastated over the break up, they ask you to talk to their ex partner to try and see if there’s any chance of them working things out. As their friend you agree, and start talking to their ex partner to see what’s going on with their life etc, and you find out this person has moved on and wants to be with someone else, and asks you not to tell your friend because they‘re unsure on what‘s going on with this person yet. As a friend to them you agree not to say anything.
Would you be doing a particularly bad thing? To your friend if they ever found out, would you have gone behind their back? Or lied to them etc? Or would you say you’re just trying to be good friend?
People argue all the time with their friends as to where their ‘priorities lie.’ Should we really expect our friends to go behind our back and fake promises to just to find out things that inevitably going to hurt us?
Or do we do it, in the hope our ex partners are missing us, and hoping they haven’t moved on.
I love my friends, and for the most part I really get on with the people they’re with, if anything between them and my friends, providing they weren’t a dick to them, I would still want to have some kind of friendship with them. Same if I broke up with my boyfriend, I’ve met a few really cool people that he’s pretty close with, I’d still want to keep in contact with them...
But then what if it was the other way around? If my friends started hanging around or having a close relationship with my most recent ex, I don’t quite know how I’d feel. Every relationship is different from all the others. What happens in them determines how sensitive a subject or situation is to the people involved.
As friends should we try and stay away from their ex, or would a real friend be honest and say where their friendships lie. Would you really want to be friends with someone who would drop a friendship just like that? Do we expect too much from our friends? What do you guys think?
Friday, 25 November 2011
F/P/E Part 2.
Everyone is protective of themselves, and their friends... and noone wants them or their friends to get hurt/messed around etc. But where's the line between being protective and just being a dick...?
When your friend is in a relationship with someone you don't approve of or get along with, what do you do? I've known people to get involved in other peoples relationships and sometimes it has a positive result and sometimes it creates an un-needed situation.
Truth is guys, you can't influence someone about who they can and can't be with, if you do, are you really being a great friend? In your eyes that person may not be right or good enough etc for your friend, but you have to let your friends make their own decisions, even if they are mistakes. I'm not saying if they're doing something being your friends back not to tell them or anything. But you can't go around hating on your friends partners just because you don't like them... How do you think that would make your friend feel?
Respect is something that is really lacking between friends now a days, and i feel writing this blog i'm lecturing you guys... and maybe in a sense i am. But this is what i personally believe and what i've seen from personal experience is the best way to go about these certain situations.
So what if you're on the other side? The partner who's hated by his/hers friends. My advice? IGNORE THEM. Easier said than done i know. But if you don't retaliate when you feel you're being treat unfairly. Your partner will appreciate the fact you're being mature and not hating on their friends. At the end of the day they are nothing to do with your relationship and if they're not your friends, they're nothing to do with your personal life. They may be a part of theirs, but they're not a part of yours, so pretend they don't exist, no matter how bad they make you feel. Hating on their friends will get you NOWHERE. If your partner is strong enough to tell them where to stick it and get over it, they will. That is also a great way of seeing how great they are :D.
So much unneeded drama is caused by people conflicting over friends and relationships. It will get you nowhere, ever. One thing you'll always have to do is respect the fact other people in your life have people in theirs you might not agree with... but that's just life right? :)
When your friend is in a relationship with someone you don't approve of or get along with, what do you do? I've known people to get involved in other peoples relationships and sometimes it has a positive result and sometimes it creates an un-needed situation.
Truth is guys, you can't influence someone about who they can and can't be with, if you do, are you really being a great friend? In your eyes that person may not be right or good enough etc for your friend, but you have to let your friends make their own decisions, even if they are mistakes. I'm not saying if they're doing something being your friends back not to tell them or anything. But you can't go around hating on your friends partners just because you don't like them... How do you think that would make your friend feel?
Respect is something that is really lacking between friends now a days, and i feel writing this blog i'm lecturing you guys... and maybe in a sense i am. But this is what i personally believe and what i've seen from personal experience is the best way to go about these certain situations.
So what if you're on the other side? The partner who's hated by his/hers friends. My advice? IGNORE THEM. Easier said than done i know. But if you don't retaliate when you feel you're being treat unfairly. Your partner will appreciate the fact you're being mature and not hating on their friends. At the end of the day they are nothing to do with your relationship and if they're not your friends, they're nothing to do with your personal life. They may be a part of theirs, but they're not a part of yours, so pretend they don't exist, no matter how bad they make you feel. Hating on their friends will get you NOWHERE. If your partner is strong enough to tell them where to stick it and get over it, they will. That is also a great way of seeing how great they are :D.
So much unneeded drama is caused by people conflicting over friends and relationships. It will get you nowhere, ever. One thing you'll always have to do is respect the fact other people in your life have people in theirs you might not agree with... but that's just life right? :)
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