Decisions.

The thing is, we all make decisions. Right, wrong, indifferent, stupid, crazy, smart etc, and each decision we make takes us on a different path.
Some we keep secret, and some we push out there. We judge people by the decisions they make, but who are we to judge them?
Everyone makes decisions that some people won't agree with. But this is our life. If you're going to make big decisions you have to;

-Know the negative as well as the positive consequences.
-Accept that not everyone will agree with them

-Those who don't will sometimes have a strong opinion and therefore a large mouth!
-Accept every negative response/consequence as well as the positive.

You'd think these are pretty simple and everyone follows them? But they don't and some people genuinely aren't prepared for the negativity that comes with some decisions. One of the most common I've seen recently is one of the most stupid things. Offensive jokes/quotes/sayings... or even jokes/quotes/saying in general really, whether you say them online, through text, to peoples faces etc, a lot of people can't stand the fact that some people will turn round and not agree, be offended by what people say... and it starts an argument. For example, when a celebrity dies, facebook/twitter etc goes mad with jokes, puns etc. The person saying is only having a bit of a laugh, but it always goes to a person/people who don't like it, say something, and that person who told the joke or what have you goes ape shit at this person for being offended.
We all know that situation right?
If you're going to say something taboo/offensive or anything along that train or even on another train, in life everyone disagrees, accept it, don't kick off and be a dick. The words 'I didn't mean for that to offend anyone' or even the words 'Sorry' aren't hard to say/type. It's not hard to accept that someone's feelings were tugged at, just as it's not hard to accept that people find what you say, or what other people say humorous.

Another different example...
We all go out and have a laugh with our friends, have amazing nights out, some of us even drink a little too much and some people even like to take the occasional person home with them.
Everyone who knows me knows I don't have a problem with single people having one night stands etc. You're not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. But sometimes this does cause a negative image with some people if this is a regular thing, or if that person you take home is a wanker and doesn't tell you they're with someone/married/engaged/a monk/nun/elephant/tree what have you, you have to be honest, who has time for a background check on a night out?
I'm not saying anyone should put up with abuse like that, not in the slightest, but people talk, people bitch, you have to learn to take the bullshit and put it in a place where it can't hurt you. I see it's not the best example to use, but as much as people have to accept you aren't doing anything intentionally bad, you also have to take bad responses, and throw them over your shoulder in the best way possible. It's just a different view point to a very common situation.

You know, you make decisions, sometimes we get negative reactions etc. But that's just life. Sometime's we're totally not prepared for them and they catch us off guard. Sometimes we genuinely believe we're not doing anything wrong and that's fine. Not one person on this earth hasn't made a bad/wrong decision. We're imperfect, but I believe that's what makes us perfect people.

Some people make bad decisions, knowing they're bad, but won't accept the bad consequences. People like that... they're just cowards. The strongest people take situations as they are, good or bad.

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I cheated and I don't know what to do

It's been a while since I did one of my advice blogs (Shame on all my friends who are reading this thinking I cheated :P)
But I got an email from a girl who had cheated on her boyfriend, and was a little confused about what it meant etc. Anyway, if you have any more advice to give her then comment below, Follow on Facebook or Twitter :)

Or if you need any advice, (Either to be answered via my blog or privately, email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com)



'Hi Rebbie,
I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now, and when we first got together I really liked him, and I still do... I just feel the spark has gone out of the relationship. I'm starting to wonder if I want to be with him anymore. I know he loves me and he is the best boyfriend I've ever had, but something isn't there...
A couple of weeks ago I went out with a few of my friends, and ended up taking someone else home. To be honest I don't exactly regret it, but It's made me wonder even more about whether I want to be with my boyfriend or not :/. If he found out what happened he'd be so upset :(. What should I do?'



Hey there random person with no name :P haha.

First of all, a lot of people do tend to feel that way after being in a relationship for a fair amount of time, as things tend to get more permanent and things are starting to seem like they're going to work out for the long run, it's natural for us to start thinking about 'Is this what I want to focus my life and time on?'
What are your feelings for the guy you cheated on your boyfriend with? Is he someone you know and like? Or was he just a one night stranger? If he was just a one night thing then I would suggest just trying to push it to the back of your mind and take some time out for yourself to figure out what you want from your relationship, because that's the important bit in that scenario.

But if it's someone you do like, you need to figure out if it's something that's likely to happen again, because if it is, it's going to be even more unfair on your partner to be sticking around in this relationship if you're playing away. If you feel like you should tell your boyfriend what happened, then tell him, but if it's going to be a 'more trouble than it's worth' situation, noone would blame you for just keeping quiet and forgetting the whole thing. Although if there's a chance someone saw you, don't be surprised if the gossip spreads, maybe you should also think about if it's worth getting the truth out there yourself before the gossip train does!

You never know, that night could of been the night someone realised how much they do want their relationship. Unfortunately I don't think this has happened to you :(. I think you probably do care about your boyfriend a hell of a lot, but you're not in a place to be in a long term or serious relationship. Either because that person isn't the one, or you just don't like being in a committed relationship. Maybe you need some time to yourself away from the pressures of relationships to see what you truly want :).

Hope this helps!

Being confident with identity.

I just read a blog post of a friend I used to be extremely close to before I came to Uni, (http://amy-dale.blogspot.com/) And one of her blog posts (Here goes nothing) talks about her identity as a person and how she see's herself.
Through-out life we all pick up different Labels/titles/identities such as Mother, Father, Boss, Employee, Wife, Husband etc, and they're all pretty standard yes? But sometimes we pick up more unique things within our identity which sometimes people find hard to accept. For example my friend Amy talks about how she feels there is a boy trapped within her body and that he is a part of her, and I really admire her courage to be able to tell people this part of her which is obviously very important to her identity, especially when it's something that not everyone finds themselves able to accept in a person. I'm not saying you should go and write a blog about all the unique things about you, but what I'm trying to say is that even though not everyone may be able to accept certain things about you. If they are things that are a part of you, mean a lot to you and make you happy, you shouldn't shy away from it.
A lot of people get depressed over hiding various parts of themselves and their lives because of what people may think about them, or that they've convinced themselves the people in their lives will leave and strangers will look at them in the street and say a load of crap. Sometimes unfortunately these things do happen, not everyone can accept things, or agree with how you feel etc. But if you're acting ashamed of yourself or a part of your life, you won't be happy. You have to embrace every part of you and be like 'This is me.'

As I said to my friend Amy, I wouldn't look her in any other way than the way I already see her. I see her as a great friend, someone I share many memories with etc. She's a lovely person, and someone that always has me in stitches about 90% of the time i'm with her (The other 10% I'm recovering from laughing at all the stupid things we do and say together!)

A lot of people may not feel the same as you, agree with you, or even accept it, but pretty much nearly everyone who cares about you will respect you and that whatever it is is a part of your life and a part of you!

My facebook and twitter is now linked at the side... if you hover over some random rectangle things on your right! :)
Or Email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com

And don't forget to check out my friend Amy's blog! She's an awesome girl! :)