After my blog about selling explicit materials online, I received a number of emails asking for advice on how to take 'safe, explicit materials' either for selling or just sending to boyfriends/girlfriends.
If you do decide to take explicit materials of yourselves, for any purpose this is my advice to you!
1) Keep your face out of the photos
Especially if you're planning on sending photos/videos etc to a boyfriend/girlfriend that you wouldn't want anyone to see. Too many times people send out photo's to other people of their ex partners as some kind of petty revenge, which leads to extreme embarrassment and hurt to the ex-partner. At least if you keep your face out of the material, you can deny it being you!
2) Have an unrecognisable background to the material!
This is something a lot of people don't consider, if you don't want people to recognise you, it doesn't matter if you cut your face out of the photo, if your background is recognisable (Eg; if your bedroom walls, bed pillows etc are obvious in the photos) again it will link to you, and again you wouldn't be able to deny it being you in the material!
3) Only take materials that you're comfortable doing
I know people who take materials for money, and one thing they always get are people who are wanting things they're not comfortable with doing. If this is the case then just don't do it. Forget about the pressure, because if you don't want to do it, you're only going to feel shit about yourself for doing it after. And that isn't worth it!
This is also if you're just sending materials for fun, make sure it stays fun!
4) Send photos to people you know you can trust!
If you are sending photos out for fun, make sure you know you can trust the person. (OK, fair enough our judgement in this isn't always right) But if you're sending materials to someone who has a history of sending peoples photos etc to other people, then obviously, it would be a pretty stupid idea to send them to them!
Also, someone to watch out for, is someone who likes the banter, this applies to both boys and girls, no matter you're gender, people like to gossip, if you're texting someone and sending them materials, there's a big chance they're with the friends, and they're showing off the fact you're willing to send these materials to them. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE DRINKING, OR OUT WITH FRIENDS.
Best time to send photos is when they're on their own at home, and just a little lonely ;).
5) Have fun with it!
Speaks for itself really!
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Email me: Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
And if you have anything to say, you can always comment below!
Saturday, 28 January 2012
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Selling yourself online.
However, it can be seen as a fetish, not a morally right one in the eyes of some, but what is the motive behind the people who are selling themselves in this way?
It's no lie that a lot of young people are struggling financially today, and we've found that quite a few people are selling themselves in this way online, sending photos and videos for a few quid a bunch, in order to pay their rent, buy their food, etc.
Is it really that wrong for two consensual people to do business this way? I don't believe it is, if consent is given between both sides, then were is the harm in this person selling a few pictures online, and the other person accepting and paying? The hurt and the upset comes if those people have partners and haven't agreed to their partner either selling or paying for these explicit materials.
But should we really judge these ways in which people make their lives a little more financially stable. If a few explicit pictures can save a family from being kicked out on the street, or keep people fed for a few more days. Then doesn't the good outweigh the fact of morally?
What do you guys think? Would you buy a few pictures to help someone financially? Or would you sell a few photos online to earn a few extra pennies?
Comment below, Follow us on twitter (@Rebbie_shane), Follow us on facebook, (link above).
Monday, 16 January 2012
Fetish's in society?
Fetish's are often the victim of very strong opinions, either positive or negative.
Do you have a fetish?
Do you have a fetish?
Certain things/fetish's can make people feel uncomfortable, especially if displayed in public. However some people discard some of these fetish's as 'Disgusting' and 'Shouldn't be practised' But how should we look at fetish's?
I have been going undercover again finding out what people's fetish's are, they've ranged from something small and everyday like having their neck tickled, to more extreme such as wanting photographic evidence of me making 'ass stains' in my underwear.
Everyone has a limit of what is 'Too far' for them, but should these fetish's really be named as 'Disgusting,' 'Unnatural' Or 'Shouldn't be practised.' Fair enough some fetish's can very adventurous, and very out of the ordinary. But these are people's preferences, and are the most part done in the privacy of their own homes.
However, the outrage mainly comes from where it is plastered over the internet. Sometimes poorly placed adverts are found on the internet, where it can crop up to users who aren't interested in that particular fetish. Though mainly, online it's in it's own private websites where people who are interested in it can come together, a bit like dating websites!
But just because we're not into some of the more adventurous things? Should they really be condemned like they are? I'm not a fan of anything that involves my ass, or what comes out of it, but if people are into that kind of thing it's their business. When talking about it, i'll politely say that I'm not into that sort of thing.... I think it would be great if more people did the same.
I have been going undercover again finding out what people's fetish's are, they've ranged from something small and everyday like having their neck tickled, to more extreme such as wanting photographic evidence of me making 'ass stains' in my underwear.
Everyone has a limit of what is 'Too far' for them, but should these fetish's really be named as 'Disgusting,' 'Unnatural' Or 'Shouldn't be practised.' Fair enough some fetish's can very adventurous, and very out of the ordinary. But these are people's preferences, and are the most part done in the privacy of their own homes.
However, the outrage mainly comes from where it is plastered over the internet. Sometimes poorly placed adverts are found on the internet, where it can crop up to users who aren't interested in that particular fetish. Though mainly, online it's in it's own private websites where people who are interested in it can come together, a bit like dating websites!
But just because we're not into some of the more adventurous things? Should they really be condemned like they are? I'm not a fan of anything that involves my ass, or what comes out of it, but if people are into that kind of thing it's their business. When talking about it, i'll politely say that I'm not into that sort of thing.... I think it would be great if more people did the same.
I think bad stigma that people attach to fetish's, it's a little unfair, not only are you criticising a part of someone's life, you also pressure other people into thinking they're wrong in enjoying that particular thing.
I'm not a big fetish girl, I'm not amazingly adventurous when it comes to this type of thing, but should we really judge people?
What really is wrong with someone practising a fetish in the privacy of their own home? Or signing up to a related website?
It's very much like criticising vegetarian's for not eating meat because it's 'Unnatural' as we were originally meat eaters as well....
However some fetish's are banned/illegal.... Which fetish's do you think are wrongly condemned?
Facebook, twitter, email me :) Or even comment below :)
I'm not a big fetish girl, I'm not amazingly adventurous when it comes to this type of thing, but should we really judge people?
What really is wrong with someone practising a fetish in the privacy of their own home? Or signing up to a related website?
It's very much like criticising vegetarian's for not eating meat because it's 'Unnatural' as we were originally meat eaters as well....
However some fetish's are banned/illegal.... Which fetish's do you think are wrongly condemned?
Facebook, twitter, email me :) Or even comment below :)
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Are kids as innocent as they used to be?
As some of you may have read, there has been a little uproar about the educational videos from the BBC, that are questionable when it comes to how appropriate they are for their audience.
I read that an M.P. wanted 'cinema style' ratings on these videos... After thinking about this, I wonder to myself why there isn't already a rating for these educational videos, based on how explicit they are.
With these kind of video's being shown in schools, I feel it is important for parents to know what materials are being shown to their kids.
It's fair enough having kids bring home letters from school saying they plan to show a BBC educational video, 'Living and Growing' explaining how it teaches and explains what is going to happen with their bodies etc as they approach and go through puberty. Like many people seeing that it's a 'BBC Educational video' with such a simple and clean name, you'd trust it would be appropriate for the audience it's catering for. People trust the BBC, they have a trusted reputation.... Why would we think the BBC would be showing inappropriate things to our kids?
This video in question contains;
- an animated video of two cartoon characters making love and a computer-generated sequence showing a couple having sex, accompanied by a graphic explanation
-a child's voice over commenting on how they are 'Having fun'
- footage of a naked man and woman, used to demonstrate the differences between the sexes,
-information about 'wet dreams' and masturbation,
-graphic diagrams of genitalia.
-penetration
-explanations of sexual feelings
-same-sex relationships
I'm only 10 years older than the audience this video has been made for, and I remember the education video I was shown in year 6 (Age 10/11). I learnt about periods, erections, and pubic hair. (More than likely also about how sperm fertilises an egg and the woman becomes pregnant) But I really don't remember that, meaning the emphasis was on periods and erections, as these are the matters at around age 10.
I do believe some of the areas covered in this BBC video that wasn't covered in the video I watched at that age needed to be put in. Such as sexual feelings and masturbation. A lot of kids do start masturbating at age 10 and 11, without actually knowing what they are doing. They are just acting on these sexual feelings which to them are weird. The same with 'wet dreams' if it can begin to happen at that age, then give them the education, tell them what it is.
However, creating a cartoon video of a couple actually having sex. Is it really that appropriate? Having a child's voice over saying how they are 'Having fun'? Have the BBC there, either consciously or sub-consciously just encouraged kids to have sex? Think about it, at that age, when one of your friends says, 'Oh that ride over there is fun' You want to go on that ride. 'Ooooh, this video game looks fun' You want to play it. If one of your friends in the playground came up to you and said 'Having sex is fun' after learning that it is fun, you can't deny that you would be a little more interested in what it is, or whether you'd enjoy doing it too etc. Telling kids that having sex is or looks 'fun' is going to encourage at least some of them to go and do it. Bad mistake BBC.
At age 9/10, I remember knowing there was a thing called sex, I wasn't quite sure what it was, but when my friend told me you did it naked I was confused as to why I would ever do anything naked with a boy. A little more innocent than some of today's 10 year olds.
But we do need to accept that kids are learning these things at a younger age, this video has had a massive range of responses, from 'The kids now need to learn all of this stuff' to the argument of childhood innocence and 'why are they learning things I didn't till I was married?'. Childhood innocence is not the same as it used to be, I'm only 19 and I'm shocked by some of the stuff younger kids know, I didn't learn some of the stuff some 10 year olds know until I was 14. They need to be taught the truths of the stories that go around their playground. They need the education about some stuff no-one would of taught us at that age. Kids are way too curious, they want to know what they don't. Sex is everywhere nowadays, on tv, in music videos etc.
Personally, I think I'm bang in the middle about it, they need the education on what is going on, what happens etc. But leave them a little innocence here, there are still limits.
Bring back the cartoon diagrams of a penis and vagina, and tell them sex is for when you old and starting a family.
Not make out sex is some kind of game that is 'fun.' And you wonder why so many young kids get pregnant...
I read that an M.P. wanted 'cinema style' ratings on these videos... After thinking about this, I wonder to myself why there isn't already a rating for these educational videos, based on how explicit they are.
With these kind of video's being shown in schools, I feel it is important for parents to know what materials are being shown to their kids.
It's fair enough having kids bring home letters from school saying they plan to show a BBC educational video, 'Living and Growing' explaining how it teaches and explains what is going to happen with their bodies etc as they approach and go through puberty. Like many people seeing that it's a 'BBC Educational video' with such a simple and clean name, you'd trust it would be appropriate for the audience it's catering for. People trust the BBC, they have a trusted reputation.... Why would we think the BBC would be showing inappropriate things to our kids?
This video in question contains;
- an animated video of two cartoon characters making love and a computer-generated sequence showing a couple having sex, accompanied by a graphic explanation
-a child's voice over commenting on how they are 'Having fun'
- footage of a naked man and woman, used to demonstrate the differences between the sexes,
-information about 'wet dreams' and masturbation,
-graphic diagrams of genitalia.
-penetration
-explanations of sexual feelings
-same-sex relationships
I'm only 10 years older than the audience this video has been made for, and I remember the education video I was shown in year 6 (Age 10/11). I learnt about periods, erections, and pubic hair. (More than likely also about how sperm fertilises an egg and the woman becomes pregnant) But I really don't remember that, meaning the emphasis was on periods and erections, as these are the matters at around age 10.
I do believe some of the areas covered in this BBC video that wasn't covered in the video I watched at that age needed to be put in. Such as sexual feelings and masturbation. A lot of kids do start masturbating at age 10 and 11, without actually knowing what they are doing. They are just acting on these sexual feelings which to them are weird. The same with 'wet dreams' if it can begin to happen at that age, then give them the education, tell them what it is.
However, creating a cartoon video of a couple actually having sex. Is it really that appropriate? Having a child's voice over saying how they are 'Having fun'? Have the BBC there, either consciously or sub-consciously just encouraged kids to have sex? Think about it, at that age, when one of your friends says, 'Oh that ride over there is fun' You want to go on that ride. 'Ooooh, this video game looks fun' You want to play it. If one of your friends in the playground came up to you and said 'Having sex is fun' after learning that it is fun, you can't deny that you would be a little more interested in what it is, or whether you'd enjoy doing it too etc. Telling kids that having sex is or looks 'fun' is going to encourage at least some of them to go and do it. Bad mistake BBC.
At age 9/10, I remember knowing there was a thing called sex, I wasn't quite sure what it was, but when my friend told me you did it naked I was confused as to why I would ever do anything naked with a boy. A little more innocent than some of today's 10 year olds.
But we do need to accept that kids are learning these things at a younger age, this video has had a massive range of responses, from 'The kids now need to learn all of this stuff' to the argument of childhood innocence and 'why are they learning things I didn't till I was married?'. Childhood innocence is not the same as it used to be, I'm only 19 and I'm shocked by some of the stuff younger kids know, I didn't learn some of the stuff some 10 year olds know until I was 14. They need to be taught the truths of the stories that go around their playground. They need the education about some stuff no-one would of taught us at that age. Kids are way too curious, they want to know what they don't. Sex is everywhere nowadays, on tv, in music videos etc.
Personally, I think I'm bang in the middle about it, they need the education on what is going on, what happens etc. But leave them a little innocence here, there are still limits.
Bring back the cartoon diagrams of a penis and vagina, and tell them sex is for when you old and starting a family.
Not make out sex is some kind of game that is 'fun.' And you wonder why so many young kids get pregnant...
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Dating Websites.
Everyone has an opinion on them, some people say they're a great way to meet new people online, some people say it's a place for desperate people to go because they can't find someone real.
I honestly don't think you can judge them unless you've tried it out for yourself.
I think they're great websites for getting to know people, making friends, and maybe meeting someone who you might want to start a relationship with.
I've gotten to know many people during my time on them and I've had some really amazing conversations and laughs with the people I've met.
Obviously it comes with it's risks, not being 100% sure of who you're talking to etc, but there are things you can do to make yourself a little bit safer.
Talk on webcam, for example MSN and Skype. Alot of the people who message me, ask if I have MSN or Skype, so they can actually see who I am. Although I never give it out (I also never use them anymore). It is a safe way of seeing for yourself who this person is.
Unfortunately you can never know 100% that the person is safe, but it's a great trust allowing someone to see your face and knowing who you are.
Also, don't rush when it comes to meeting this person, If someone is genuine and safe, they will happily wait a little while before meeting, and won't rush.
A lot of people have very successful relationships and friendships with people they've met online, and I really don't believe it is for 'desperate people' at all.
It's a great way to make a great first impression with someone who doesn't know you, and a fresh start away from any negativity that your reputation may have.
Everyone has had something false/bad gone round about them, especially if you live in a place where everyone knows everyone, gossip is one thing you can avoid online, and both parties can get to know each other for who they are. Without hassle.
Also, if you work away, for business, or in the forces etc. It's a great way to talk to people and to keep social. I've found a lot of the people I've met are in the armed forces, or are away a lot on business, who are just looking for someone to talk to and get to know. It means a lot to them to be able to do this while they're away.
Keeps people a little less lonely.
I know in a couple of my blogs I've spoken negatively about the behaviour that occurs on these sites, and I will continue to point things out, not to be negative towards the sites, but towards the behaviours, as a lot of what I see on these sites, actually relate to relationships offline too.
I recently received a comment which accused me of being negative about these sites, which isn't the case. As everywhere else in the world, you do come across some negative people. I do think Dating Websites are a great thing, when used appropriately. (Just wanted to point that out, and make myself clear)
They are a place where people who want the same thing, can come together and chat, build friendships etc. In a sense it's like their private place, although it is online, people who don't want the same thing (EG, People who don't want to find a friendship/relationship online) don't go to those website and are therefore uninvolved.
It doesn't bother or is in the face of people who are against them, it's all very in their own little place.
What do you think about Dating websites? Comment below
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My email address is Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com (If you want to ask me something privately)
Thanks for reading guys!
I honestly don't think you can judge them unless you've tried it out for yourself.
I think they're great websites for getting to know people, making friends, and maybe meeting someone who you might want to start a relationship with.
I've gotten to know many people during my time on them and I've had some really amazing conversations and laughs with the people I've met.
Obviously it comes with it's risks, not being 100% sure of who you're talking to etc, but there are things you can do to make yourself a little bit safer.
Talk on webcam, for example MSN and Skype. Alot of the people who message me, ask if I have MSN or Skype, so they can actually see who I am. Although I never give it out (I also never use them anymore). It is a safe way of seeing for yourself who this person is.
Unfortunately you can never know 100% that the person is safe, but it's a great trust allowing someone to see your face and knowing who you are.
Also, don't rush when it comes to meeting this person, If someone is genuine and safe, they will happily wait a little while before meeting, and won't rush.
A lot of people have very successful relationships and friendships with people they've met online, and I really don't believe it is for 'desperate people' at all.
It's a great way to make a great first impression with someone who doesn't know you, and a fresh start away from any negativity that your reputation may have.
Everyone has had something false/bad gone round about them, especially if you live in a place where everyone knows everyone, gossip is one thing you can avoid online, and both parties can get to know each other for who they are. Without hassle.
Also, if you work away, for business, or in the forces etc. It's a great way to talk to people and to keep social. I've found a lot of the people I've met are in the armed forces, or are away a lot on business, who are just looking for someone to talk to and get to know. It means a lot to them to be able to do this while they're away.
Keeps people a little less lonely.
I know in a couple of my blogs I've spoken negatively about the behaviour that occurs on these sites, and I will continue to point things out, not to be negative towards the sites, but towards the behaviours, as a lot of what I see on these sites, actually relate to relationships offline too.
I recently received a comment which accused me of being negative about these sites, which isn't the case. As everywhere else in the world, you do come across some negative people. I do think Dating Websites are a great thing, when used appropriately. (Just wanted to point that out, and make myself clear)
They are a place where people who want the same thing, can come together and chat, build friendships etc. In a sense it's like their private place, although it is online, people who don't want the same thing (EG, People who don't want to find a friendship/relationship online) don't go to those website and are therefore uninvolved.
It doesn't bother or is in the face of people who are against them, it's all very in their own little place.
What do you think about Dating websites? Comment below
Like us on Facebook
Follow on Twitter (Both links above)
My email address is Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com (If you want to ask me something privately)
Thanks for reading guys!
Monday, 9 January 2012
Patience my dear.
As many of you know, I've signed up to a couple of dating/etc websites, and during the last couple of months, I've been picking out things either in the conversations or in the behaviour of the people I've been talking to.
One of the things that aggravates me is the lack of patience some people have when it comes to people replying to them...
How long should we wait if someone hasn't replied to us? And how should we react if someone doesn't reply to us? If we should react at all?
Especially when we're talking to people online, it's perfectly possible that person has left their laptop or whatever for a few minutes to go and do something.
I find this type of thing especially rude when you're on sites where you inbox people rather than talk on instant chat, because you can't always tell if someone is still online or not.
So what reasoning do people have to be rude towards someone in this situation?
I have received a number of rude messages off people when I've not replied in a quick amount of time, EG;
'WHY THE F**K YOU EVEN ON THIS SITE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO REPLY TO PEOPLE'
'OMG well if you're just going to stop talking then at least tell me why!!!!!!!'
You have to admit it does make you look like a bit of a tool tbh! Should we really behave this way to people we don't know? Or to anyone in fact?
Another thing that can be shown through the impatience of people is desperation..
EG;
'Oh im sorry, have i said something to offend you? im sorry' (35mins ago)
'Are you still there? Im sorry, i really want to talk to you' (31mins ago)
'Ok, i'll assume you dont want to talk to me, :( :( :( plz '(26mins ago)
^^ Not the worst example I could show, but you get the idea.
One thing you need to remember when you're talking to people either online or over text etc, you don't always get an instant reply like you do when talking to someone face to face, so if someone doesn't reply straight away, chill out. If people are going to reply to you, then they will. If they don't want to, don't humiliate yourself by hassling people and making yourself seem possessive/angry or desperate
And most importantly, don't ruin your chances of meeting someone lovely by doing this! It's a big mistake people make.
These are your first impressions you're making towards people, you need to make sure it's a good one!
Comment below with your opinions/stories
Like us on facebook!
Follow us on twitter!
Or email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
One of the things that aggravates me is the lack of patience some people have when it comes to people replying to them...
How long should we wait if someone hasn't replied to us? And how should we react if someone doesn't reply to us? If we should react at all?
Especially when we're talking to people online, it's perfectly possible that person has left their laptop or whatever for a few minutes to go and do something.
I find this type of thing especially rude when you're on sites where you inbox people rather than talk on instant chat, because you can't always tell if someone is still online or not.
So what reasoning do people have to be rude towards someone in this situation?
I have received a number of rude messages off people when I've not replied in a quick amount of time, EG;
'WHY THE F**K YOU EVEN ON THIS SITE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO REPLY TO PEOPLE'
'OMG well if you're just going to stop talking then at least tell me why!!!!!!!'
You have to admit it does make you look like a bit of a tool tbh! Should we really behave this way to people we don't know? Or to anyone in fact?
Another thing that can be shown through the impatience of people is desperation..
EG;
'Oh im sorry, have i said something to offend you? im sorry' (35mins ago)
'Are you still there? Im sorry, i really want to talk to you' (31mins ago)
'Ok, i'll assume you dont want to talk to me, :( :( :( plz '(26mins ago)
^^ Not the worst example I could show, but you get the idea.
One thing you need to remember when you're talking to people either online or over text etc, you don't always get an instant reply like you do when talking to someone face to face, so if someone doesn't reply straight away, chill out. If people are going to reply to you, then they will. If they don't want to, don't humiliate yourself by hassling people and making yourself seem possessive/angry or desperate
And most importantly, don't ruin your chances of meeting someone lovely by doing this! It's a big mistake people make.
These are your first impressions you're making towards people, you need to make sure it's a good one!
Comment below with your opinions/stories
Like us on facebook!
Follow us on twitter!
Or email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Chances that are worth giving....
Another reason people get into the wrong relationships is that they give their trust to the wrong people.
People who have a reputation of messing people around/sleeping around/acting like tools etc. You know the people. And as people get to know and grow to like these people, despite knowing their reputation, still give them the benefit of the doubt.
Don't get me wrong, I'm the number one fan of giving people chances and the benefit of the doubt when you haven't known them during their past. But you should always keep your guard up with people like this.
People who have a reputation of messing people around/sleeping around/acting like tools etc. You know the people. And as people get to know and grow to like these people, despite knowing their reputation, still give them the benefit of the doubt.
Don't get me wrong, I'm the number one fan of giving people chances and the benefit of the doubt when you haven't known them during their past. But you should always keep your guard up with people like this.
People claim all the time that they have changed etc, and some people do, and everything is lovely. Unfortunately there are people who thrust that line on people to get them where they want to be, and to discard the 'rumours' and 'warnings' other people throw around.
I would never tell anyone in these situations to not give them the chance at all, but with people who have a dodgy reputation, it would be stupid to let yourself fall in too deeply. Understandable right?
But what really gets on my tits is that when people meet someone, and hear of these reputations they have from friends, and even people they don't know, and just discard them completely. Fair enough you want to give this person a chance, but you really have to tread carefully, because if you do discard these rumours and warnings that your friends are giving- honestly just to look out for you. And then these true colours show and you get hurt, and start crying to your friends, you really are going to look like a prize idiot.
However if you are take into account what your friends are warning you against and tread carefully- yet unfortunately still get hurt, you don't look so much like a fool.
It's in a lot of our nature to give people a chance and want things to work out, there's nothing wrong with that.
But one thing you need to remember is that you need to be realistic in what could happen.
Look at the person you're starting see, and look at his reputation, the chances are it came from somewhere, and if it's in the past, and he claims he's changed, then it's up to you whether you give this person the chance or not.
You can't always be right about the people you start your relationships with, but you do need to be realistic about the chances of this person hurting you.
Too many people are too trusting, or too delusional about the people they like. You need to keep a sensible head on it, and good luck in your relationships!
However if you are take into account what your friends are warning you against and tread carefully- yet unfortunately still get hurt, you don't look so much like a fool.
It's in a lot of our nature to give people a chance and want things to work out, there's nothing wrong with that.
But one thing you need to remember is that you need to be realistic in what could happen.
Look at the person you're starting see, and look at his reputation, the chances are it came from somewhere, and if it's in the past, and he claims he's changed, then it's up to you whether you give this person the chance or not.
You can't always be right about the people you start your relationships with, but you do need to be realistic about the chances of this person hurting you.
Too many people are too trusting, or too delusional about the people they like. You need to keep a sensible head on it, and good luck in your relationships!
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Settling
Most of us make the wrong decisions in choosing partners, without even knowing it. We all take risks, and they don't always work out. I'm going to be covering the different relationships choices we make, when it comes to choosing partners in the next few posts...
Have you ever felt you've settled for second best, or the 'safe option'? When you couldn't have the person you loved, or if you've been messed around by someone else, you found a person who would offer you everything the other person wouldn't?
Have you ever felt you've settled for second best, or the 'safe option'? When you couldn't have the person you loved, or if you've been messed around by someone else, you found a person who would offer you everything the other person wouldn't?
A few of us have done this, believing that we do like that person, and to be honest we do like them. But what do we like... the person? Or what they're offering us?
Is it love and a relationship we're craving? Something safe we can rely on? Everyone wants different things, and it's not always the person we want to offering them. And we do become confused.
Sometimes this works out, and sometimes it doesn't. We can learn to love that person like we loved others in time, or we just get frustrated in our relationships and hurt the other person, either by leaving, or another way.
The only advice I could give to anyone going through this is, give yourself time to work out what you really want. If you know you don't lust for this person as much as you did for someone else, a crush or an ex, then maybe you need to give yourself some space to figure out if this is what you're going through and what you want in the long run.
No one deserves to settle.
Do you want this person? Or do you want what they're offering you? It's something we all need to realise and work out for ourselves. Unfortunately many of us decide this when it's too late. We all need to realise the signs from the beginning, and the only and obvious one, is how much we lust over them.
Only then can you work out whether you feel it's possible that a real relationship can grow from this.
Are you confused in your relationship? Or have an opinion on this? Or have something to say about anything in particular? Either comment below, comment on facebook or twitter (Links above)
Tweet at @Rebbie_shane
Or email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
Only then can you work out whether you feel it's possible that a real relationship can grow from this.
Are you confused in your relationship? Or have an opinion on this? Or have something to say about anything in particular? Either comment below, comment on facebook or twitter (Links above)
Tweet at @Rebbie_shane
Or email me at Shaneyxcakes@gmail.com
Hope this helps guys!
Monday, 2 January 2012
Are Adults safe on the internet?
Adults talk about how the internet isn't a safe place for children and teenagers, after hearing news reports/ stories with horror stories of kids who have met people on the internet and been murdered/sexually assaulted etc.. all very extreme stories. And we do well to warn people of the danger.
It is something that plagues the mind of parents as their children being to talk to strangers in chat rooms/message boards and other websites, but are they practising what they preach or are they being just as unsafe as anyone else? So I did a little experiment to find out...
I signed up to f-buddy.co.uk for two days, which is a website for adults to meet online, and have sexual encounters with, whether it's just emails, phone calls, or meeting up in person and having a fling. Straight away I received messages from multiple people giving me their contact details and where they lived etc... Which got me to thinking, how many people on this website are willing to meet up with a person without knowing them?
I posed as a 21 year old girl called Charlotte using a fake picture and information, then, I posted a status on the website, which is viewable by males who had joined saying. 'Who wants to be a part of an experiment? message me?' To which I received 232 responses from people, all of different ages from 18 upwards, below is a graph of how many people replied from each age bracket.
So what I'm trying to say is, through the power of sending two messages to complete strangers, 232 people agreed to meet me in person off the internet.
Considering how easy it was to fake a profile, lying about my appearance, name, age, location etc. People have been known to be murdered/sexually assaulted by people they meet off the internet, so 232 adults had put themselves at risk by agreeing to see me personally.
Luckily i'm a nice person! And wouldn't assault any of these people if I had met them.
So if you do decide to meet up with anyone on the internet, be VERY careful. You can never know for sure that the complete stranger you're talking to is safe. I hope this experiment opens your eyes just a little bit.
*I understand this experiment was open only to males, I am currently looking for a similar site that is free for men to join to conduct the same experiment on females, as I'm sure I would get a different response,
Females are much more cautious than men when it comes to this type of thing, however some females do also fall into the same trap.
I didn't feel comfortable giving the website my bank details, also being a student, I am rather quite skint atm!*
Also I apologise for the small font on the graphs, it was the largest I could make it! :(
I signed up to f-buddy.co.uk for two days, which is a website for adults to meet online, and have sexual encounters with, whether it's just emails, phone calls, or meeting up in person and having a fling. Straight away I received messages from multiple people giving me their contact details and where they lived etc... Which got me to thinking, how many people on this website are willing to meet up with a person without knowing them?
I posed as a 21 year old girl called Charlotte using a fake picture and information, then, I posted a status on the website, which is viewable by males who had joined saying. 'Who wants to be a part of an experiment? message me?' To which I received 232 responses from people, all of different ages from 18 upwards, below is a graph of how many people replied from each age bracket.
Each of these people gave either one of 3 responses. They either;
Said yes straight away, and gave contact details (Phone numbers etc)
Said yes, while asking for details
Or just asked for details before agreeing.
Said yes straight away, and gave contact details (Phone numbers etc)
Said yes, while asking for details
Or just asked for details before agreeing.
Below is a graph showing the numbers between the different responses from the people who did respond.
The blue slice shows the amount of people who asked before agreeing, which in the situation is the safest option. However, my reply to everyone who did respond to me was
'Hi, thanks for getting back to me, before I send out any details about the experiment, can I just ask one question? Would you be willing to meet me in person?'
To which everyone replied 'Yes'
While giving out contact details, even addresses (Which I have deleted)
'Hi, thanks for getting back to me, before I send out any details about the experiment, can I just ask one question? Would you be willing to meet me in person?'
To which everyone replied 'Yes'
While giving out contact details, even addresses (Which I have deleted)
So what I'm trying to say is, through the power of sending two messages to complete strangers, 232 people agreed to meet me in person off the internet.
Considering how easy it was to fake a profile, lying about my appearance, name, age, location etc. People have been known to be murdered/sexually assaulted by people they meet off the internet, so 232 adults had put themselves at risk by agreeing to see me personally.
Luckily i'm a nice person! And wouldn't assault any of these people if I had met them.
So if you do decide to meet up with anyone on the internet, be VERY careful. You can never know for sure that the complete stranger you're talking to is safe. I hope this experiment opens your eyes just a little bit.
*I understand this experiment was open only to males, I am currently looking for a similar site that is free for men to join to conduct the same experiment on females, as I'm sure I would get a different response,
Females are much more cautious than men when it comes to this type of thing, however some females do also fall into the same trap.
I didn't feel comfortable giving the website my bank details, also being a student, I am rather quite skint atm!*
Also I apologise for the small font on the graphs, it was the largest I could make it! :(
Sunday, 1 January 2012
New Year, New goals...
How many of you believe in new year resolutions? Personally I don't, whenever I did have one, I kept it up for about 2 weeks... Does anyone keep their new years resolutions?
Just a thought to start the new year, What are your new years resolutions, and are you intending to keep them up for the full year?
As some of you may know, I conducted an experiment last week, I've been posing online as a girl named Charlotte on a few dating and 'other adult' websites, and within a few minutes I was asking them to meet me...
the response I got was amazing.
Especially considering the importance of internet safety and lectures about meeting people they only know online they throw upon kids, it was interesting to see how much they kept to that themselves....
Anyway, welcome to 2012 Here's a picture of a duck :D
Just a thought to start the new year, What are your new years resolutions, and are you intending to keep them up for the full year?
As some of you may know, I conducted an experiment last week, I've been posing online as a girl named Charlotte on a few dating and 'other adult' websites, and within a few minutes I was asking them to meet me...
the response I got was amazing.
Especially considering the importance of internet safety and lectures about meeting people they only know online they throw upon kids, it was interesting to see how much they kept to that themselves....
Anyway, welcome to 2012 Here's a picture of a duck :D
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