Rebbie's Dating Adventure... Part 3

So many messages from people asking why I hadn't updated any of you on what was going on in my OkCupid world... That's because nothing much had really been happening... except what I'm about to talk about towards the end...
I did the thing I knew I would do, and that is, struggle to find the time to answer to everyone's messages.. (I started to feel bad when I didn't reply)...
So I started slacking...
The annoying thing with OkCupid is that the site tells people on your profile how often you reply to your messages... so I'm one of these people now who reply 'Selectively' or even 'Very selectively' and if I'm honest, that makes me feel like a bitch. haha. If I could reply to all the messages all the time, I would. I love talking to people, however unfortunately.... I cant!! :(.

I was sat with my housemate, (Also on OkCupid... in fact,  all 3 of my housemates are on there!) and on the quickmatch (Where rate randomly generated profiles) I got all 3 of them on my quick match within a few minutes! It was interesting to see their profiles, especially seen as two of them are together.

Although now, I have registered as an 'A-list' member, which means I get a few extra special magic powers on the site, such as, I can browse peoples profiles without them knowing I did... Finally, that was the one thing about the site that I hated...

And I can finally see, who said they liked me.... so if I find someone on that list that I find interesting... I already know they kinda atleast think the same about me. So yay!.

However there was one guy I was talking to, seemed normal, looked normal, weirdly looked very much like someone I had a fling with once... and I'm not saying he wasn't normal, he was. He just totally didn't look like the type of guy who would be into the stuff he was... He just looked like your average kid, very generic, (my old friend who he looked like was an absolute pussy, so I kinda assumed he would be a little softy too) so we were talking for a fair few weeks... he found my blog and asked my opinion on certain things like escorting etc... then obviously, escorting moved on to sexual desire and then he told me he was into really hardcore domination, and I froze. I'm not someone who likes to talk about their sexual desires, especially over the internet with someone I don't know... So I had spent the whole conversation being like 'erm.. I don't know, you?' Then he just threw me out of the water with this one. I was like daaaamn boy!
It kinda reminded me, not to judge a book by it's cover... everyone has their little kinks, and some people's can be VERY surprising!

One tip for those of you on dating websites etc. This may be a very obvious thing to watch out for, but if someone is straight away saying that 'oh your photo makes me want to do naughty things' 3 guesses what they're all about. I had someone do this to me yesterday. Though his username was something along the lines of 'thepartyanimal' so you really can't be surprised. And the same applies if they ask for your number straight away.
Why would I give my number to some stranger on the internet? That has only sent me 2 messages? Stay safe on the internet kids ! :)

Remember you can always get in touch via
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Do we need to have it all to be happy?

What does it take to make a person happy? Are we ever truly happy? One thing I have learnt over the past couple of years is that, there isn't one sole thing that can make any of us happy.

Money can't buy you happiness
A career doesn't give you emotional support
And love doesn't make you feel like you've accomplished anything.

If one of those three things are missing, we become unhappy. We either; Feel alone without love, Feel like we're wasting our lives or we're stressed and angry because we can't pay the bills. To be truly happy do we need to have it all?

A year ago I made the decision to end a relationship because drama connected to home and people around my partner were affecting my grades at university. (If my mum's reading this, she'll be well proud I picked uni over a boy!) But I often think about him, as well as an old friend who made the opposite decision a few months earlier than I made mine. And I wonder how her life is, and how happy she is. I really hope she is happy. But with every big decision you make, you always wonder, what if?

I now have my degree, but I'm living in a city where I have barely any friends, and I'm very much alone here. And as a lot of my friends back home know, I'm finding it rather difficult. So I often wonder if I had been happier making a different decision? My degree will never compensate from having the love of my friends and family around me, but I know if I had made a different decision, I would always regret not finishing my degree, and it would have been the biggest mistake I made.

So, do we really need to have everything to be happy? And sometimes, no matter what we do, can we just not win? Surely not everyone can have it all...

How do you know if it's just sex?

When we start a sexual relationship with someone, one of the quickest misunderstandings we come to is the other person's intentions towards you. You learn pretty quickly in life, that a lot of the people, quite a lot of the time are just looking for something casual. I  get emailed a lot by people explaining their situations and asking whether it sounds like they're just after sex/something casual or a relationship.... so here are a few points to consider, which I believe are the most obvious ways of knowing that you're in a casual/just sex based relationship.

1) You never leave the bedroom: One of the obvious ones. If you guys are always in the bedroom... and I don't mean you go screwing outside, that really doesn't count. If your relationship is just in bed, no drinks, no movies, no nights out. You're 'relationship' isn't going anywhere...

2) You don't talk about future plans: A little similar to number one, but if you don't even make plans to go out and do anything else, then this person isn't interesting in anything emotional. If you say 'we should go see a film this week' and the next time you meet up... it's in your bedroom or his. You're stuck in a non-relationship.

3) They aren't telling their friends: If no one really knows apart from your friends that you're screwing this person... yeah, they aren't that bothered.

4) They act different towards you in public: I don't mean that they're not overly affectionate, because some people just aren't like that in public. But if they don't hold your hand, or only hold your hand down the quieter streets. Also if they change the way they speak to you, if they aren't so familiar with you in their conversation or tone, they're trying not to arouse any suspicion. 

5) Their text frequency: Everyone knows when you're into someone, you text them more than you would anyone else. If they only reply to say... half your conversation starters or you only have short conversations. They aren't that bothered. If you find yourself finding a reason to text them, in order for them to text you back a lot of the time... then you've been suckered.

There are so many more reasons as to how you can figure out if the person you're dating is in fact dating or not dating you too. But these in my opinion are the biggest and most obvious. If you have any questions, or anything, as always feel free to contact me either by:

Emailing me at: RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com
Liking us on Facebook: Rebbie-Shane
Following us on Twitter: @Rebbie_Shane