Make peace, and watch the world go round.

Everyone's lives are always moving in one direction or another, but there comes a time, or maybe a few times where we just feel ourselves pause and the world suddenly looks very different.

This usually happens at a time of some kind of shock or trauma, at the death of a close one, or some horrible news like an illness, and we feel alone. Even though everyone is around us and there for us, we are the only person paused in that moment, and we watch everyone's lives carry on without us.

It makes you appreciate and realise a lot of things you would normally dismiss. I've hit the pause button quite a lot recently and I see that things aren't as pretty as I thought.

People come and go from your life all the time, some stay for a brief moment, others can be around for years. It's funny, some people can make such a huge impact on you during their brief moment, but we don't even notice some of the ones that have been around for years. Relationships change, new ones are made and one relationship can distance another, especially when it comes to romantic relationships and friendships. But during these times when we're paused in our own world. Things become clear, and things that we thought were clear turn out to be a lot more complicated than we thought.

In my world, I feel like a lone soldier stood on a hill, looking down at battlefield full of different wars. I see friends fighting in their relationships, and I see people totally focused on working on their careers to the point where anything outside that career is unimportant to them. It's then that I realised, I am only a small part of everyone else's life, if I died tomorrow, people would stop for that moment and remember me, but before long people's lives will start to run normally again, and I'd begin to be forgotten... Maybe never totally, but I wouldn't be a first thought. Not that I want everyone's attention, but at the end of the day, once someone has gone, that's one thing in your life you just can't change. You can't change a relationship with someone who's no longer there, so why do we waste our time fighting with people we love when we don't need to? Sure we all laugh about those fights afterwards, but what if we couldn't?

I have an ex-boyfriend where the relationship (like most people's) caused me a fair amount hurt at one.. or several points in the relationship. It wasn't easy, but after months of anger, hurt, upset... maybe even a little bit of crazy... I didn't get the point in fighting, and we're in a good place. He's not the biggest part of my life, but every time I visit my hometown, me and James hang out, eat pub food and laugh. I'm not saying everyone should be chummy with their ex or people that have wronged us, but if anything happened, I can honestly say I pretty much have no regrets and I'd remember him for all the good things, in fact I barely think about the bad....

If someone once touched your life in a positive way, that's how you should remember them. Don't remember them for their mistakes or their negativity. If anything just use it as a life lesson, and put comfort in the positive memories. None of us want to be remembered for our mistakes or bad deeds, so we should we look at someone else for theirs? Peace is a powerful thing, someone doesn't have to still be a part of your life to make an impact. An old friend of mine passed away around Christmas time, and even though both our lives had moved on from each others and we'd both gone to different uni's and I hadn't actually seen him for 2 years. I realised I didn't always appreciate him fully for what he was. He was the most genuine, caring person along with so many other wonderful traits.

You don't have to continue a relationship with someone, but it's amazing how much comfort you find in just making peace in a situation, even if you then never speak to them again. People forget how powerful that moment is when look at someone and just let go, you find a lot of honesty in those moments, and a lot of the time, there's a lot of love. Whether it's between friends, old lovers, relatives... you never really move on without closure. Next time you see someone you haven't seen in a really long time and you still get that negative feeling, ask yourself why and make peace with it. Because no one looks beautiful bitter.

Can you give love a second chance?

Do you believe in giving love a second chance? I often wonder if all that stuff about things not being in the right time are true or not.

Is it possible for love to be put on hold, and pick it back up a couple of years later?

Is it possible to meet someone earlier than you're meant to?

There are always so many questions around failed relationships, you always find yourself thinking, 'what if...'

The saying 'An ex is an ex for a reason' is always said with such negativity, but should that always be the case? Just because someone is an ex, doesn't mean you can't pick up and relationship and start again with them, and be happy. Surely there are loads of couples out there who have broken up, spent time apart, maybe even seen other people in-between and then gotten back together.

Not every relationship ends over bad events, sure there is hurt, anger etc from atleast one side during most breakups, but that doesn't mean there was anything shady going on. Sometimes relationships just aren't right or working for a certain reason.

But people are always afraid of getting hurt again. Just because someone got hurt once, doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get hurt again... does it? Surely if it hurt that much, it's obviously something that is worth all of it, otherwise, why would it hurt so much?

Every relationship is different, and no one can tell you what to do. No matter how much they try. I've known a lot of situations that have included very cautious and protective friends, and it doesn't help. If anything, if you get in the way of two people who want to be together, being together. You're only going to cause more hurt.

Sometimes asking 'what if' isn't enough.

And sometimes even a past relationship that's failed once before, is worth giving that second chance. The more it hurt, the more genuine your love was for them, no matter how long it takes you to realise.

The first month.

So in a few days, I'll have been on the dating site for a month now, and so far, I'm really enjoying it. I've managed to meet some awesome people and make some new friends! (Which, considering I know no one in Chester, It definitely became a bit of a sanity saver!)

I love that the site is free to use, though for some extra's you have to pay. Such as, being able to browse on people's profiles invisibly. The site tells you when someone views your profile and who it is, which I hate. Because now whenever someone views my profile and doesn't message me, I'm like 'Hey! What's wrong with me?!' ;) Haha, I'm joking but for people who get a lot of views and very little messages, it could be a bit disheartening! I feel bad viewing someones profile, especially someone's who has messaged me and not messaging back... I've found myself messaging them back so I don't feel guilty!
Because, if you message someone, they view your profile and don't message you back, you know you've just been full blown rejected... at least if you don't see them viewing your profile, you can at least pretend they've just come online and read your message.... 3 weeks... 4 weeks later!

This one is a flaw in me rather than the site, but for the first few days when it was all awesome and exciting and I was finally socialising with people in the outside world, I was replying to all my messages and checking up on all my notifications. But I do this thing that I do with all these kind of sites, I get tired of my phone blowing up with notifications and having the same, small talk conversations of 'hi, how are you?' and then going into what you're doing with yourself nowadays. I got a bit sick of telling my life story over and over again. So I kept saying to myself that I'll check them later... before I knew it, it was a week later. Rubbish Rebbie! From my previous research into similar sites, I do know that new profiles do get put on display to other users more, so they get more messages and therefore continue using the site, which is a great method... But I, personally get a little bored with constant notifications and I do have a habit of neglecting my account. :(.

The thing I love most about the site, is definitely the people on it. I love reading the profiles of other users and seeing little quirks in their personality, and the messages that I've received where people have noticed things on my profile.
Two of the most popular point on my profile have to be these;

My love for dominoes is unreal, you get me a chicken pizza with a BBQ stuffed crust, I will be yours for life.

So many people laughed at me for this, and so many people actually remembered the advert, but I didn't know what it was. But after about 3 weeks of searching.... I found it!

Mushy Pea Advert << You tell me that isn't emotionally destroying. I just can't eat pea's anymore...

I'm still looking for the fork advert though!

I'm sorry there isn't much juicy gossip to spill during my first month. I'm saving the juicy-ness for my next post!
Oh and if you find the advert, link it to me via, Email, Facebook, or Twitter