Just because someone claims someone is a certain thing, doesn't necessarily mean it's true. Reputations aren't always accurate. I've known plenty of people whose reputation gets carved over one person's lie, that's spread around the town. Though more often than not, there are some truths behind a reputation. As the saying goes, there's no smoke without fire.
People's relationships can be heavily affected by a reputation, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, as someone's reputation could doubt someone into thinking whether or not they can trust the other person. To be honest, pretty much the only real way you have to find out, is by your own personal experience, or you've seen first hand the behaviour that's sparked it all off. If you don't personally know, you don't have a right to judge, though it doesn't mean you can't take what you've heard into account and be cautious. But to judge someone you don't know completely on hear'say is never fair.
They say there's no smoke without fire, and quite often someone's reputation has some kind of truth behind it, but does that define them as a person?
For example, one of the most common reputations that tends to stir trouble is when people are known to have slept around/be a slag. Where it's true that some people live up to that reputation, it's not the case for everyone, some people have gone through a small phase where they have slept with multiple people in a short space of time, but it was nothing more than a phase, and it's now past. Though the label has stuck with them. Doesn't mean they still sleep around though. Everyone has a past, and everyone's done shitty things that unfortunately people don't forget about.
With me, people haven't forgotten the fact I've cheated in relationships, yet that doesn't mean for a second that I'd do it again, and it doesn't mean that I can't be trusted in a relationship with someone else.
They say there's no smoke without fire, and quite often someone's reputation has some kind of truth behind it, but does that define them as a person?
For example, one of the most common reputations that tends to stir trouble is when people are known to have slept around/be a slag. Where it's true that some people live up to that reputation, it's not the case for everyone, some people have gone through a small phase where they have slept with multiple people in a short space of time, but it was nothing more than a phase, and it's now past. Though the label has stuck with them. Doesn't mean they still sleep around though. Everyone has a past, and everyone's done shitty things that unfortunately people don't forget about.
With me, people haven't forgotten the fact I've cheated in relationships, yet that doesn't mean for a second that I'd do it again, and it doesn't mean that I can't be trusted in a relationship with someone else.
I get a lot of advice emails asking whether they should pursue something with someone who has a reputation, and I always say the same thing. Be a little cautious, and don't be afraid to ask about it if it's playing on your mind. It might not always be the most comfortable conversation. But if the other person is honest, and genuinely respects you as a person, they'll give their side, and it's up to you what you believe.
We tend to judge too easily, and put our defenses up too quickly, and to be honest we have good reason to, the last thing we ever want to do is get hurt. But what exactly do you achieve by not giving anyone/anything a chance? Life is full of taking risks, and especially when it comes to the people in our lives. If something has the chance to be awesome, then take it.
We tend to judge too easily, and put our defenses up too quickly, and to be honest we have good reason to, the last thing we ever want to do is get hurt. But what exactly do you achieve by not giving anyone/anything a chance? Life is full of taking risks, and especially when it comes to the people in our lives. If something has the chance to be awesome, then take it.
