Still Breaking?

A lot of the advice I get asked for is how to deal with breakups and how to get over someone, everyone has their own way of getting over someone. How do I get over someone? I spend all my  time with my favourite people, and the people who make me laugh the most. To me, laughter is the best medicine for anything. When I'm alone, I watch comedy films and TV. It's unbelievable how much it does take your mind off things, or at least calm you down when you're feeling emotional.

The thing I hear the most when I'm talking to people who have just broken up is, that when they see each other the 'chemistry' is still there, and they go on about how happy they are with them, but 2 minutes earlier they were telling me how upset and angry their partner made them feel, and usually you just want to shake the person, and be like, can you hear yourself?! But everyone goes through the same thing at some point in their lives.

Sometimes break-ups/breaks do make you realise how much you do love that person, and how much you didn't appreciate them, or how you should of appreciated them more. Mostly, we just forget the reason why we broke up with them, and we start to see that person in this wonderful light, oh the curse of rose tinted glasses! That's one phrase that's been thrown at me many times by my friend Hannah recently!

We too easily forget why we've broken up with them, and how we felt, the initial break-up hurts more than the relationship did, so we think we're better off in it. I'm sorry to break it to you all, but you have to work for your happiness in this world. If you're not happy in that relationship, you have to fight through the pain, to achieve any gain! Is that pain in the relationship really worth going back to, when the relationship is good, it's great and it makes you feel amazing... but it doesn't mean for you to feel that you have to go through all the shit that makes you unhappy. Every relationship has shitty stages, but if you're often upset in your relationship, can you honestly say you're truly happy?

Some people have the complete opposite problem, some people, break up over something that they really shouldn't of done, and still want to be with each other, but are too stubborn to open up, because they're terrified of getting hurt. What's even more crazy is that they know both of them feel the same way. Just bloody go for it, swallow your fear, and do a special gesture. Otherwise... if you both keep shut, you won't ever get around to fixing anything.

Breakups are a weird time, they can be the most confusing times, or they can just clarify everything. Sometimes, it's an instant reaction, where some people don't feel it months down the line. Either way, usually,  you shouldn't listen to the first emotion you feel...

It's kinda hard to live without regrets...

Everyone says you shouldn't regret anything, regrets only cause you to be upset and quite often live in the past. Which to be fair is very true, but if there's nothing in life that we regret, what do we really learn from our mistakes?
All the biggest and most important social lessons I've learnt so far come from situations and decisions that have made me cringe like hell looking back on them. The things we tend not to regret are the things we get away with or we don't care too much about, so we end up making the same silly mistakes again.

Regret is a powerful thing, and as much people encourage you not to live your life with regrets, I think they are necessary to us, when it comes to learning life lessons. The trick is, not to allow them to make you think in the past, and of 'what could of been.' But to use them to fuel you to either fix the situation, or to avoid putting yourself in that situation again.

This is something I'm only learning properly now, I've spend the past few months with my head and my dreams back in last year, it's not healthy for you mentally or emotionally. All I know is that I have to take my regrets and try and use them positively, and maybe in the future I'll see it more of a learning curve than a mistake or a regret... and I'll be a little happier! :)

Sometimes when we're stuck in the middle of what to do in a situation, our heart tells us to do one thing, and our head tells us to do the complete opposite. Usually the decision your heart is telling you to do equals risking looking like a giant buffoon, or as silly as the speedo guy at my swimming centre. But at the same time, if you don't make that decision and follow your heart, you know you'll regret not trying. So what are you to do?
Some people say, if you want it enough, nothing will stop you reaching for it, and some say, if you want it enough, the thought of not achieving it or in situations of love and relationships being rejected is enough to scare you out of being honest.
At the end of the day, if you go with your head, there's always going to be some hurt with 'what could of been' but at least if you go with your heart, you actually have the chance of being completely happy. You just have to work out for yourself whether you're happy to risk it.