Hold your passions

High emotions are what gets our passion going, whether it's in lust, rage or something else. Lust and Rage are the two heightened emotions we go through, they can create massive wounds, but they can also heal them.

There's such a fine line between love and hate, we say we hate the people we love, we don't. We have a passion for them, the people we're in love with, can boil our blood to the maximum point. Why? Because they're the people who have the ability to hurt us the most. Our anger, is only us protecting ourselves from the possible hurt that can come from a situation.

But this anger, also does the most damage in a relationship.
We say and do things in the spur of the moment, out of this passion. But those things are usually the extreme acts that tear relationships apart. We end up with a lot of regrets in failed relationships, for exactly this reason.
We do horrible things, which in the moment, seem like the right thing to do, they seem like a way to hurt someone that's hurting us. But as we calm down, we realise the true effects of our actions.

We're all guilty of this, and most of us will know how much damage it can do to a relationship.
Passion and lust is a wonderful thing, but it's always very dangerous. Try not to act on your immediate emotions. You never know if the broken pieces are light enough to pick up!

Love.

As a lot of people who know me personally know, I've been going through a really dark patch in my life. But with all dark patches that we go through, they are very big learning curves, with the mistakes that we make, and the regrets that we hold. Through this, one of the biggest questions that I've been thinking about is, What is love?

If you were to ask me now, what I thought love was, I would reply with 'the thing that drives you to support and be there for a person no matter what happens.'
Which I think can be applied to any kind of love, but I won't go into them all.

Falling in love is probably the most complicated thing we'll ever do. If you're lucky enough to have a completely smooth relationship then, congratulations. But most will have a patch or two where things are rough and things are hard, and it can physically tear you apart. But if you come out of these hard times, to be able to look at the person, and feel completely fallen for them once again, and happy when you see them. You know you have a genuine love right there. Taking on the world together is the challenge.

And one of the hardest things that we have to accept is that sometimes that person that we have fallen so completely in love with, has moved on and doesn't feel the same.
People say that love is blind, and it is, but only partially. We see all the positive things in a person, and we try not to focus on the negative points, even though we can see them, it doesn't change the way we feel about them. To us, they're still just as perfect.

You can go through a lot with a person, and that situation can cause you be angry/distraught/desperate and those emotions can drive you to do the wrong things, things that can hurt the people you love, ruin your relationship. Yet sometimes that person can look at you, and see not the angry person, but the happier person they're so familiar with, the person that made their lives so happy, the person they could tell anything to, and spend every second with. But what's more extraordinary is that, we can look at that person, and the things they've done, and even if they've done the worst things to hurt us, we can understand the reasons why, and forgive them.

I'm not good at letting people in, and sharing how I feel. We can block people out to the point that we push them away. None of us want to be in a vulnerable position, and falling in love is one of the most vulnerable things we can do. So sometimes we hurt them by being cold, cutting them out of certain things. I know I've ended relationships I've been so happy in because I didn't want to be hurt.

We find it so hard to explain how we feel, and sometimes we just don't want to. My friends ask me how I feel all the time, but what can you say when you don't even know yourself?

No matter what you go through, love will drive your desire to support them, and have them there. But it's never always as easy as that.
Sometimes we can be too proud to let a love back in, if you've been hurt before by a person, and sworn before everyone you'd never give them another chance, made such a riot over how bad him/her are, you can stop yourself from giving love that second chance, and who knows then, what you're missing out on.
The love that means the most to us, is always the love that needs the most work to make it a happy relationship. People say love shouldn't be hard work, but love can be the thing that causes us the most pain, so of course, to heal, you need to work. But at the end of it all, you can be truly happy. You just have to ask yourself, if you're both serious about it, is that feeling they give you, worth it?

You can't have any kind of relationship without trust, but you can build one from desire, if you both want it enough, you can make anything happen. Never limit the chances you give love.

Advice blog: My best friend and my ex.

Those of you that follow me on facebook and twitter know that one of my main focuses at the moment is health, but before I bore you to death with all that, I have another advice blog for you.

A lot of us have been in this situation before, whichever role we've played....

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Hey Rebbie-Shane!
Me and my best friend have been friends for as long as I can remember, and last year I started to see my now ex boyfriend. We had a really good relationship  for the most part but unfortunately towards the end of the relationship he was cheating on me, as soon as I found out, i ended it. But I do still have feelings for him.
My best friend never is someone to be horrible towards anyone, so even though she wasn't happy with what my ex did to me, when he needed someone to talk to, she was there for him.
But now they're really really close, and I was scared that one day I'd find out they were seeing each other, or that they liked each other...
The other day, my friend asked me if I would be ok if they started seeing each other, and she said to me that she wouldn't date him if she knew it would upset me.. I said that it would, because... it would, but now I'm starting to feel a bit bad because I'm the reason they're not seeing each other.
I'm not quite sure what to do...

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Our friend's ex partners are usually a definite no-go area, but you do have to give your friend some credit for being honest with you, and talking to you about it. It obviously wasn't easy for you to hear but it won't of been easy for her to be honest about the situation.
At the end of the day, your friend has put you first, and if she's expressed that she doesn't want anything to happen with this guy because she's concerned for your feelings, then her priority in this situation is obviously her friendship with you.
Don't think of it as, you're the one stopping them from being together, she's obviously made that choice to put your feelings first, it's what friends do, and at the end of the day, I'm sure you'd do the same for her.
If you do feel bad, explain to her that you don't want to be the reason those two don't give things a go, but you appreciate the fact she has been honest with you, but don't forget to still be honest about how you feel about it. Don't go ignoring how you feel!
I'm going to assume that you'd rather not see your ex with your best friend though, it's very rare we're that nice! But even though she's crushing on your ex, you guys obviously have a good relationship if you can talk about this.
So tell her that, if you do feel bad, but it sounds to me like she's put her friendship with you first, because that's what she wants, rather than to risk that for a thing with your ex!
Hope it helps!  :)
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Remember you can still email me at RebbieShaneOfficial@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter and Facebook

Hope you're still having a happy 2013!

New Years Resolutions!

Happy New Year everyone!
I hope everyone's had a great start to the year 2013! I certainly have!

This year I've seen a lot of status' and tweets slagging off the tradition of New Years Resolutions and personally I think the tradition is a fantastic one... even if we don't usually keep to them all year!
Most resolutions are made in the hope we make positive changes to our lives, the most common one is dieting and wanting to lose a bit of excess!

Which is fair enough. As my regular readers know, I am a big sucker for wanting everyone to feel comfortable with who we are, and why the hell shouldn't we?!
But being comfortable does make us very prone to letting go a little bit, and I'm the perfect example of this!
So in support of everyone I have seen make these resolutions, I found an app a few months ago, (some of you may remember me going on about it in the summer) and it helped me amazingly, Myfitnesspal is  a wonderful website and downloadable app which takes in your details and gives you an easy, do-able guideline to help you lose weight, all you have to do, is scan the barcode of the foods you eat, or if you eat out at somewhere like Spoons, they'll have it in there, so just search it.
But my favourite part about it is the fact it's a lot like facebook. It doesn't publicly show your weight unless you choose to, but your achievements  for example if you lose a pound this week, it'll come up in the feed and all your friends on the site can congratulate you and encourage you. Which I think is fantastic!
So if any of you guys wanted to check it out, feel free, its all FREE!!! and if you wanted to add me, my username on there is RebbieShane =D.

So what are your resolutions?
Mine are to get at least a 2:2 in my degree, which I will graduate with in JULY =D.
Get back into my regular writing!!

Share yours by either commenting below, messaging on Facebook or drop me a tweet (@RebbieShane)
I look forward to hearing from you all! and Happy 2013!!!

New Projects!

So as you guys all know, I've not been posting on the blog recently, this is due to a couple of things;

1) 3rd year University work is VERY time consuming!
2) I've been (in my spare time) writing articles for my student news paper...

I'll be posting these every now and again, but I would love for you  guys to take a look and let me know what you think!
Especially for those of you who aren't in Aberystwyth and able to pick up a copy of the Courier!

This is my newest article for Novembers issue, about the rise in students going into the sex industry to pay their way through University, and I raise the question, do we really know all the dangers behind this kind of work?


Students in the sex Industry

Advice Blog: Can I have a long distance relationship at 15?

I got asked a question the other day from a friend of mine, he's 15 and talking online to a girl over in the states. He spoke to me last week about his feelings for her and whether he could pursue a healthy relationship with her.

Being young, and going through your teenage years, it seems like everything to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and as nice as it might be, we do sometimes end up just running after every person who seems to be at least decent looking and giving us attention!

As much as I would have loved to back my friend up 100% in terms of his relationship with this girl, you have to be realistic in your relationships. If he was a few years older, working and could afford to go visit and have something more than an internet relationship, I would have been all for this. But at 15, you don't have the ways and the means to go and have a relationship with someone of that distance. He spoke to me about how soon he'll be working and able to save up, and personally I think it's great that he would take the relationship that seriously. But in this day and age, nothing is a given. It's not so easy now to get a job, and with flights etc costing around £500, you have to think for someone who's 16, is this a relationship they can really make work?

I don't even think I could maintain a healthy relationship with someone of that distance, being a grown up is so expensive!

As much as we would love to jump into a relationship and be able to say 'I have a girlfriend/boyfriend' at this age. We do need to remember to be sensible when it comes to committing ourselves to a relationship. And when we're so young, who wants to!

Enjoy being 15, trust me, it doesn't last forever!

Remember you can email me here, and follow me on Facebook and twitter :)

Gossip Gossip Gossip!

We have to admit, we do like a bit of gossip, if somethings going down, whoever we are, we do always find it interesting to know whats going on in peoples lives, whether it's a celebrity or a friend, even if it's someone we don't actually. Our social lives thrives on gossip and the lives of other people.

With social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, we put so much of our lives out there, and yet we wonder how gossip goes around.
We throw everything on our profiles, the food we eat, our mood swings, and I am definitely one of those people, I like a good old stressy status. Facebook has become a way to vent, in result people see it, and will make assumptions of whats going on, and rumours, that spread like shit anyway, now spread even quicker.

People do say, people who concern themselves with other peoples lives and problems clearly don't have anything interesting going on in theirs, and in some cases that can be true, but I do also believe that sometimes we focus on other peoples gossips at times to escape from the negative things going on in our own lives.
Come on, admit it's nice to sometimes see how shitty life is going for someone we hate when we aren't too happy with our own lives? It makes you feel better right? Not that that's right, but... I won't deny it feels good sometimes!

A few of you asked for some of my tips to help prevent the spread of gossip, so here they are!

1) (and the most obvious!) Think about who you're telling your business too, everyone has a few friends that are complete gossips!

2) Avoid 'heat of the moment' Facebook status' and tweets etc, it gets people talking!

3) No matters what's going on behind closed doors, put on that poker face! Sometimes you don't need to say a word for people to know things are wrong!

Remember you can email me! Facebook me! and follow me on Twitter! to put in suggestions for future (more in depth) posts and advice!
Soon my new advice blog will be uploaded for you to take a  gander at, aimed at my younger teenage audience!

Take care guys!
Rebbie. x